Belizean Politics

Update Numbah 2 John McAfee Dishes Up More Crap 05-11-12

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John McAfee

So remember in the interview with Jeff Wise, John McAfee said that he was trying to apply his knowledge of computer viruses to figuring out viruses that plague us human beings? Remember how he proudly showed Mr. Wise his “lab” and his leading research scientist  on quorum sensing? Well according to the San Pedro Sun, he was manufacturing “antiseptics” not “antibiotics“. WOW. I am like stunned because this man really believes that we are that dumb as to not know the difference as well as it was in his own words that he said he was trying to develop antibiotics using quorum sensing or did I read it wrong and misinterpreted what he meant? So he was really trying to make antiseptics using bacteria??? uhmmmm…ok but I think I will stick to Clorox bleach….

For the full interview in the San Pedro Sun: http://www.sanpedrosun.com/crime-and-violence/2012/05/10/john-mcafee-demands-an-apology-for-gsu-raid/

For the previous articles on John McAfee: https://twocanview.com/2012/05/04/just-how-nutz-is-this-nut-who-is-john-mcafee-by-fayemarie-anderson-carter/

And the previous update on that article: https://twocanview.com/2012/05/08/update-just-how-nutz-is-this-nut-who-is-john-mcafee-by-fayemarie-anderson-carter-2/

UPDATE: Just How Nutz Is This Nut???? Who is John McAfee? by Fayemarie Anderson Carter

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John McAfee

Full Article on McAfee: https://twocanview.com/2012/05/04/just-how-nutz-is-this-nut-who-is-john-mcafee-by-fayemarie-anderson-carter/

There are people rising up to defend John McAfee by attacking the source of the works I quoted, saying it is mere speculation and there is no proof. One comment called me “judgmental” reminding me that those living in glass houses shouldn’t cast stones.

WTF??? Really? LMAO! O Good Lordamerci! Why get so personal over a man neither of us knows???

I want to ask: how is it that I am being “judgmental” when I give information about John McAfee but those who threw this word around didn’t call what they were doing as “judgemental” when they presented their “information” about the GSU?  I love sharing information and receiving information but you can’t designate the very same action a different name just because it’s me and it’s you and it’s McAfee and it’s the GSU…info is info. That would be saying that while I shit, you spread joy and love even though we are both taking a dump on a toilet! And I quoted Channel 5 too…how come no comments or attacks on using them as a source HUH???? Biased much?

I didn’t focus on the GSU because really, that is a WHOLE OTHER article and I did talk about them in the context of THIS particular incident. MY PURPOSE WAS TO EXPOSE JOHN MCAFEE!!!

Don’t get it all twisted lovers! I could give a shit about the man for any possible personal reasons…don’t know him, will gain nothing by deliberately disparaging him, reiterating once more: I AINT GETTIN PAID FAH DIS and even if I were, is nuh mi style fi di lie fi nobadi, even mi own pickney! Ask dem! Mi mek dey get suspended and go dah court by demself when dey get ketch fi duh stupidness.

AND again with the accusations of being spin doctors! WTH???? What am I spinning???? I just did some background research on the man..because even if I nuh si di damn fish, AH SMELL IT!!!! And why is it when we question anydamnthing or anydamnbody mi hafi yer bout di paliticians dem just as corrupted and tief and dis and dat! Is mi tawkin bout dem ret now?????? LOOKYA! mi nah gat all day and needah do you fi di read all dat! Stick to di topic! Basic English Composition 101!!!!

Jeff Wise

With that said: Jeff Wise? the guy I used as my source? is not some random dude with no credibility…he is a respected author and contibutor to many reputable magazines and blogs, including The New York Times, Psychology Today, Men’s Health , to name a few. Check out his bio: http://jeffwise.net/about-the-author/

Jeff Wise faced his own critics when he wrote this article about McAfee and the magazine he wrote for got a lot of flack but he is sticking by his story and it would seem, with good reason. Here is his rebuttal to those attacking his article: http://www.fastcompany.com/1625080/john-mcafee-belize-quorum-sensing-female-viagra

I don’t know people….perhaps it is your disappointment in the man that is evoking this reaction against me and Aria…that’s cool…but seriously….please…always know that we do come from only the best place when we write. We really do want to elevate our collective attitudes/belief systems/ethics to reflect integrity and intolerance of corruption. I’m only one person. I can’t DO more than I can do. While I can hold people accountable morally and ethically, I can’t enforce laws and prosecute criminals, perform heart surgeries and rescue cats outtah trees(btw seriously, that only seems to happen with American cats right??)

*sigh* I digress….you get my point. Please understand our purpose. Understand yours. That is the first step to eliminating a lot of the confusion and backlash we tend to get …At the same time, if you got a legit point and feel like arguing it (respectfully and always with humour, man..life ain’t dat serious) BRING IT KITTIES!!!!

O yeah and BITE ME! LOL heeheheeeheheheeeee

Daily Dingleberry 03-19-12 Wot’s Yer Pernt?

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Creeper

You evah get di feelin dat eyes are followin you and shadows creep in the dark? It’s ok darlins. You can relax. No matter how you look…you will be disappointed. Is it really that hard to believe that people could just be what they say they are? That is so sad for you that you haven’t had the chance to be around people who are sincere and full of compassion for their fellow citizens. Let me once again reassure you so that perhaps I can garner your support in my efforts. I just want to bring light to things that are impeding our progress as a society. I want old people to live with dignity; children to be excited by life and parents to energized by hope. What a wonderful world that would be. In the future, Aria and I would like to lend our support to Cancer/Diabetes Awareness; involving our youth in the democratic process; form a non-profit org or two with the aim of providing school supplies/lunches/clothing to our students; educate anyone, who wants to be, in the finer points of political issues so they make the choices which benefits them and their communities and just soooo much more.

While you attempt to corrupt our good intentions, slander our reputations and decry our actions, I simply ask you to direct your attention to what really matters: Belizeans. Feel me? Join me? That’s the spirit!

Daily Dingleberry 03-13-12

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Twocanview marks the spot!

I’M BAWWWWK BITCHES!!!!!!!!!! What an interesting two weeks I spent in Belize! So much to discuss and comment on 😉 Still a little tired though so I’m just gonna say hi and yes, I missed you all. I got to meet a lot of our twocanview followers. That was so much fun and thanks for your continued support.

Wifey and Sweetheart Get Di Bukut!!!! by Fayemarie Anderson Carter

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Suh…. I am so sure that you have heard EVERY Belizean man and woman seh dat dey don’t tolerate cheating but if da like how dey deal wid di palitishan dem? Well. You know exactly how dat end!

From the time we are old enough to talk, if you are a girl, people tell you to “keep your shape; lawn fi cook; nuh laff tu loud; cross yu leg; be a good girl OR ELSE yu nuh wa get a good man”.  Ting is, da whe dey tell di man dem? Caz ah nu tink dey get di memo. You might hear “be a man, stop cry; beat dat, nuh mek nobadi tawk to you suh; les go da Mile 8; tell u gial u gwen play basketball or tell shi da nun a fi shi business whe u goh; you mek di money, shi fi just shet up and serve you yuh dinnah!”

So girl marries boy. She might have a job but that doesn’t matter. She still washes, cooks, takes care of the kids, and cleans up after everyone. She doesn’t get a say in how money is spent or how decisions are made BUT she must honour whatever arrangements her husband might make so that they “look good”. So, she cooks for people she doesn’t like; she raises funds for causes she doesn’t support; she watches her man go to the bar and blow his pay check while the pickney need school uniform and books; and if she raises her concern, she bettah watch she don’t get slap right affa fi shi foot! Caz he da di boss and u bettah know your damn place. And if you dare nuh listen, he wa lef yu rass and tek a sweetheart. And if you reeeeeally piss him off, while you stay home and mind yu pickney? He wa ker she da fancy restaurant and buy ah sum chicken and suh Belikin fi wash it down. AND the cherry on top of that humiliating cheating, lying and beat up Sundae is? He will blame you and seh da caz yu get fat, or yu like rail up tu much or yu dah jus nuh fun no moh.

So den yuh get caught up inna wa love triangle, square, pentagon? Some wifeys think dey getting revenge by cheating right back; some stay deh and pretend like dey dont know, and den di Shali pickney staat show up da di back dooh. And one day, shi look inna di mirror and realize dat she’s all thorns and no rose. See, cause she told herself, “I live inna di big house”; “my pickney gat fi hi name”; “he come home to me” ;”I da Mrs”.

Di sweetheart she? Well, she get reputation so nobody in society wants to associate her and she finds herself being passed around from one married man to the next, each time, she tells herself  “dis one love me..si di pretty bracelet? si di new refridge? And mi baby got soft hair like ih daddy”; “dis one wa lef ih wife”. But he doesn’t and she cries again and soon shi look inna di mirror and realize she is all thorns and no rose.

The sweetheart and wifey might sometimes meet in public and wifey cut shi eye; sweetheart hallah bout “mi son da fi yu man!” Each one has her posse in her corner whe jeer and sweat fevah.  Wifey is the victim because of “that low down sketel di try tief wa good honest man like mi husband. Shi da jus wa homewreckah! Don’t that street gial realize that shi di tek mi pickney food outta dey mouth and dey pa from whe he belang? She so sleck, shi gat pickney fuh all kinda man, dey all gat different name!” The Sweetheart is the victim because “that fat cow nuh wa give mi man wa divorce! Don’t that old hux realize dat him nuh luv ah numoh? She da just di stupidest ass fi di try hold awn to something whe nuh wah she! He tell mi dat shi cant give a di sex like me!”

Now turn dat into a lovestory about the PUP, UDP and Belizeans. “Mrs.” da di diehard. Those voters will stick to their party like the wife to the husband. They hide the lies; they defend their behaviour and all the while, everybody can see that their eyes black and blue and swollen from the bitchlick. But, they hold on for dear life because they just can’t imagine no different and don’t believe they deserve better. The sweetheart? They are the voters just looking for a handout. They keep switching sides, chasing the one with the sweetest lines and the biggest promises, telling themselves  “this time will be different!”; “He da di one!” And, they do that because they also can’t can’t imagine no different and don’t believe that they deserve better. The two a dem fraid fi challenge because all of a sudden, they will lose their job, or they will be publicly ridiculed or they will lose funding for some project or a loan will be recalled or their children won’t get scholarships or even considered for positions they are qualified for. O and the latest one, you might get sued for slander and libel.

And the man? When him dead, him happy and content. After all, he get what he mi want right? And he tell himself that both dem bitches lucky he tolerate either one a dem. Dey bettah just know. He da di boss. Whe dey gat fi camplain bout? Wifey inna house and sweetheart get shi chicken. Ting dun. Him pave your street and give di other one wa ham. Ting dun.

Whe miya seh? Step back. The only reason this keeps happening over and over is caz like the Wifey and the Sweetheart, we, the Belizeans don’t believe it can be different or that we deserve any better.  We have allowed a bunch of self serving, egotistical, deceitful, unethical, criminal politicians to take over that which is ours and we settle for the pittance they decide we deserve. They don’t even fight their own battles cause like the wife and the sweetheart, dey posse do it for them.  I mean, we do it for them. We call each other names and refuse to work together against corruption and fight for our rights. Meanwhile, they ride around in their air conditioned rides and vacation on their private islands, whe dey just tief fram yu, by the way.

So…on this here Valentine’s Day..kick dey no good cheaters to di curb…wifey and sweetheart need fi tell huzzy who da di boss! Stop fight each other and fight together for what’s right. First you have to love yourself don’t you? Buy yu own damn chocolate and flowers numa! And make dat man know it is his privilege to be with you! Just like we need to let our leaders know “It is a privilege to serve US”. When Wifey and Sweetheart wa realize dat it aint about them but about the children they both have to watch suffer? And those kids got one name: Belizean.

Daily Dingleberry 02-07-12

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What democracy is NOT but has become

Double edged sword is what it is…what is? This politician/god thing we got going here. Of course, it stems from our complicated colonial/buccaneering history. As much as we hate to hear it, we do live it. People are still very much stratified according to colour of skin and position in Belize. To an onlooker, it might be impossible to imagine. We all look brown, right? We all ain’t white, right? So, what is the problem?

Well, actually I think that makes it worse because it pits brother against brother, grandchild against grandmother. Is it any wonder then, that we glorify our leaders?

Our socioeconomic situation creates intense desperation and fierce competition for the few opportunities and resources available, so when one of us “makes it” in politics, we clamor for his/her attention and favour. This may flatter and appeal to our “hero complex” but that doesn’t last long, I’m sure. Soon enough, there is too much to deal with, not enough time, money and manpower and before you know it, people get frustrated, disappointed and then, resentful. That leader we thought was better than free cheese and sliced bread becomes in our estimation, greedy, self serving, “out of touch”, hypocritical and downright demonic. We vote them out. Rinse. Repeat. And we are in the hole we are in.

Look people. Don’t give politicians qualities best reserved for saints. Politicians, don’t make promises you can’t keep just to win temporary adoration and votes.

We need to mature as a nation. We have to stop this codependency we got going on among our constituents and our politicians. That politician will not solve our problems and our constituents can’t pull themselves up by their bootstraps if they don’t gats no boots! We have to find a medium where politicians just do their jobs i.e. overseeing the appropriation of funding for beneficial projects; negotiate loans and settle border disputes. Politicians need to insist that our judicial system is sound and that our streets are safe. AND WE THE PEOPLE need to realize that WE ARE THEIR BOSS, not the other way around.

We, the people, need to understand our rights, our responsibilities and start taking ourselves seriously. We need to understand what a politician is really obligated to do. We need to set up firm boundaries between what is his/her job and what he/she just can not and should not do . What is unethical versus illegal? What is within the realm of government versus what is beyond?

While we figure it out, I appeal to your sense of decency and fairness. Display decorum and respect. It is the only way to make progress. And politicians… smdh…admit you fucked up. You have no idea how far that will go to restoring good faith and confidence in your abilities. It takes great courage to admit one’s mistakes and people really are just waiting to hear you humble yourselves and for once, do the right thing. We have been on borrowed time. The bottom will fall out. Let’s try to avoid that please. We have so much to gain if we work together and not against each other. And while we are it, throw some bitches in jail.

OWN YOUR VOTE. OWN YOUR FUTURE.

Insert Name Here by Fayemarie Anderson Carter

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It’s mid-morning in the Jewel. Bernie is sitting on the wire alone and she can smell coconut oil and frying onions and hear pressure cookers rattling. Usually, she is in her office writing or doing light book keeping for her husband; but, today she feels closed in by all her thoughts and feelings. She tries not to show it to her friend, Dodes, just how much she is concerned about the state of their country.  That is just not the dynamic of their friendship. Dodes has always clung to Bernie’s every word and reserved a special benefit of the doubt for her.  It got to the point that Bernie had to gently admonish her friend against putting her on such a lofty pedestal. She becomes  especially uncomfortable when Dodes puts herself down and defers  to her because of her education and position in society. No matter how much she tries to show egalitarian consideration, Dodes refuses to act like her equal. In this way, Bernie can’t ever truly be herself around Dodes.  Dodes has put her in the position of mentor and guide. It would not do to show any sort of weakness as the disappointment would upset Dodes’ estimation of her. Bernie is Dodes’ rock, a compass in this crazy, overwhelming world. If Bernie should voice any misgivings or uncertainty, Dodes would be sure to overreact and feel like the sky is truly falling. Bernie doesn’t mind being this for Dodes. She understands that Dodes is alone and needs her to be that stabilizing force in her life. She plays the role well and is nurturing, supportive and even motherly as Dodes sometimes needs her to be.  The downside is  that it left Bernie without a confidante and that makes her feel lonely at times. She could only be her true self with her husband, Joe and her friend, Judith. But, Judith does not live here and is often busy herself and Bernie hates talking on telephones so essentially, that leaves her with herself, thoughts swimming and fears unabated. 

It had taken her a long time to realize that she was not meant to have many close friends as she had tried to force others to play that role. Eventually, they fell away and she never heard from them again, or worse, they would turn on her and misunderstand everything she tried to say or do. The catch is, even though she has her husband right there, all the time, he is very busy. He works non-stop on his various contracts and while they are lucrative, sometimes, the work just drained everything out of him. In that way, she becomes nurturer again and has to wait until he could be available to her. So here she was alone, trying to be patient. Patience had not come to her very easily. Her passion and youth had made every issue, every thought seem so important that she felt compelled to try and come to a resolution as quickly as possible. She had learned over the years, that, that was just not how the world works; and that while she could attempt to engage others into reaching resolutions to arguments, crises, and challenges, forcibly and loudly was not a way to maintain friendships and alliances, no matter how right she felt she was. Now, she had learned that her anxieties were her own to deal with and while others could try to be supportive, she couldn’t expect them to know what to do or how to do it. She and only she could make herself feel calm and determined to continue on. 

She felt a flap of air and turned towards it. It was Buster Piam Piam.

“Hey Bustah. What yu doin here? I thought you were at Robinson’s Point with Paulie.”

“I was Bernie but I came back earlier than planned. Granny Ivy is not doing to well so we came home to be with the family.”

“O Bustah, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Well, she is doing better already, as usual.” Bustah laughed. “I swear, she does it on purpose. She heah we outta town, get jealous, play sick just fi ruin we good times.”  Bustah smiled at Bernie.

“Ahh Bustah. You and that morbid humour of yours. Nevah change, heah?” Bernie smiled at her friend but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Oh oh. I think I interrupt some deep thoughts here Bernie. You look like you gots your thinking cap on.”

“O Bustah. You are in the world of economics. What do you think about this supah bond business? As far as I can tell, it sounds like crippling debt that we can never repay and I get really perturbed at the thought that I absolutely have no idea where it all went!” Bernie lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Berns, it was a bad idea. I don’t know all the ins and outs of it but it would seem that yet again, for the fleeting moment of glory, we spilled our guts. And now everybody is scrambling to make this seem ok. Meanwhile, the politicians are fighting away pointing fingahs. Shit ah wish they would just get close enough to each other and poke each oddah  eye out…dah nuh like dey need dey eye! Dey all blind anyways!”  Bustah slapped Bernie on her back as he guffawed. Bernie was startled but she joined in since she wouldn’t want to send the wrong message and hurt Buster’s feelings. Problem was, she really didn’t feel like laughing. She felt to burdened by her fears and unanswered questions.

Changing the topic, Bernie asked Buster, “Wheh yu oddah half dey? Usually him nuh tuh far behind.”

“O lawd, gial Bernie. Paulie meet a gial da caye. She da di cook and every week she come een fi buy produce. Soh him deh wid her right now before she haffi goh back da caye. Da bwoi always got his head undah skirt ah tell yu!”  Bernie and Bustah laughed at the thought. “And di ting is, him soh desperately in love and ciant eat nar sleep. Him drive mi crazy wid all dah talk bout dis gial or dat gial. Right now I hafi heah bout ‘Allison has such lovely long legs. Allison’s voice is so musical. Allison is so smart.’ But di ting is las week dahmi Becky…next week it wha be di same tings…’insert name here’.”

Bernie laughed at the truth of that statement. Paulie was ridiculous in love. He would be the perfect romantic partner for some lucky girl, one day, maybe.  Unfortunately, his interest waned quickly and soon he was mooning over someone new. She likes the statement “insert name here”. It describes how she feels about all the politicians, just now. It doesn’t seem to matter who, which party, what the accusations are, who tief, who tek, who liad, who get outta facing consequences for committing crimes…just “insert name here”. Her mood started to deflate again.

“Bernie, Bernie!” Bustah’s voice rang in her ear, jolting her back to the conversation.

“Huh? Sorry Bustah. Ah midi tink again. Whe u midi seh?”

“Ah ask u if u have time fi a lee bite. Ih luk like u need some distraction befo da big head a yours explode,”  Bustah said with a kind, understanding smile.

“You know what Bustah? Long time ah haven’t been to Seaside Cafe. Ah always feel so peaceful there with the waves lapping and the breeze in my face. Can we go there? They have the freshest papaya you ever tasted.”

“Alright Bernie. You are on but I want a watermelon margarita too!”

“Well talk about ‘it’s five o’clock somewhere’!” chuckled Bernice. “I might just hafi join you. I need some fun Bustah. Do I ever need some fun right about now. Lemme just tell Joe and I’ll be right back.”

Buster watched his school friend fly up to her house with some sadness in his heart. He rarely ever saw Bernie so deflated and pensive. She was a thinker, even as a child but she was also a fun, quick witted provocateur. It got her into trouble with the stuffy, authoritative teachers when they were in school, but she hadn’t let that change her. She just got more spirited and challenging. Buster knew that Bernie was probably not worried for herself as much as she was worried for others who were already struggling. He knew that like himself, people sometimes doubted her sincerity because it was obvious she was wealthy and that she struggled to balance charity against pity. She had always voiced strong hopes that as Belize became more and more developed, that  those poverty stricken and seemingly forgotten areas would finally get electricity and the stagnant drains that were breeding grounds for mosquitoes and thus responsible for yearly outbreaks of malaria, would finally be connected to the city sewer systems. He knew that she was probably seeing all those dreams just crumble under the weight of the reality of the financial crisis facing Belize.

“Hey Bustah! Now dah yu di drift off. First round is on you! Let’s go have some fun, man.” Bernie smiled at her friend encouragingly.

“Alright Berns. But if you get tu tipsy tu fly, u pay fi di taxi!” And in his usual gentlemanly way, Bustah let Bernie fly off first, elegantly and sure, she headed towards the beach.

Daily Dingleberry 01-22-12

/ Twocanview LLC

OK PIPPLE!!!! This one REALLLLLLY bothers me. We are being damn hypocritical about the way we express our feelings about immigrants coming to Belize…I can hear the spit fly and bile swallow when we seh “deh pania”. But people, many of our family members are immigrants facing the same prejudice in other countries, yes? Especially, the US????? How can we show such animosity to a group many of us represent? And then, cussing how they take our jobs while we starve? Why di hell you nuh di pick fruit and calleck garbage? Why you nuh di chap cane and clean toilet? What? You tu good fi mek an honest dallah? YEAH….you much rather work the biggest industry we got in Belize right? WESTERN UNION! Well mek ah tell uno di straight up straight. YOUR relatives tyad ah you di beg fi money. YOUR relatives tyad ah heah bout deh alien whe tek uno job and das why  u bruk! Cause the irony is? You di depend pan wa immigrant di tek somebadi job ret yah da states tu! And it aint no fun to feel unwelcome and unwanted and treated less than. when we are developing and contributing to the communities within which we live.  Don’t be hatin’ on your neighbours, man. We are all part of one world, one human family. Show some compassion and in the meantime, stop lying to yourself about why you are in the situation you are in. Dah yuh paliticians tief! Dah yu son di sell weed! Da u nuh wa do jobs yu feel are beneath you! If you want your country to grow and become strong, you literally have to toil the soil you are so desperately fighting about and for.

Put that in your bong and smoke it!

Duh Soh, Nuh Like Duh Soh by Fayemarie Anderson Carter

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It is a sunny morning in the Jewel and children all over are rushing to school. Some stop at the Chineyman shop to buy haadtimes and sweets or pencils and erasers. Others dawdle on corners waiting for their friends to catch up so they can walk the rest of the way together. On the junction of Fortification and Judgement Streets, passersby can hear the screeching of a frustrated Dodes as she hustles the children out the door. 

“Marion! Marion! Get your little sister and get your bottoms out of here NOW!” screamed Dodes.

“But MOOOOM! She is so slow dis morning and she will make me late. Can’t you take her?” asked Marion.

“Marion, if you backansa mi one mo time, ah wa wahm you lee rass fi be suh rude,” responds a very visibly angry Dodes.

Bernie hails the children from her perch trying to distract them and Dodes from escalating and also to signal to Dodes that the neighbours are hearing everything.

“Morning, Marion, Lyndsey. You bettah run a little to catch up on time, girls. You only have 20 minutes. Hold her hand Lyndsey and don’t give Marion any trouble ok? See you dis evening girls. Maybe you come visit me and I’ll have some treats fuh yu ok?” said Bernie kindly.

She didn’t deal with this in the morning at all. Their driver took her children to school and she had time then to chat with Dodes over a cup of tea before she had to go to the factory. The bus passed by their street around 8:45 am. She was the last one the company driver picked up. She was close to the highway and it was only five miles to the factory. They usually made it with about six minutes to spare, just enough for a last bathroom run before she clocked in at 9:00 on the dot.

Dodes looked especially flustered as she sidled next to Bernie. “Aye, gial. Sumtimes, deya pickney just tek it outta mi. My day staat at 5 in the mawning. By di time da damn bus come? Ah ready fi lay down again.” Dodes sighed heavily.

“Come Dodes. Ah have yu tea ready fi yu. Ah cud call Maisy and have her bring us some fresh tortillas if you want, with some dutch cheese? guava jelly?”

“Thanks, Bernie. Ah mek breakfast fi di pickney but den dey staat fight and of course, ah nevah finish mines.” Bernie calls to her housekeeper, Maisy and instructs her to bring Dodes some breakfast.

“Now Dodes. Tell mi whe happen. All ah heah da lata railin up and screamin. Who do what now?”

“Well da Marion and Darnell again. Ah nevah know what wa set off Marion these days. Shi so quiet and moody and her mouth di staat to sting.” Dodes looks up at her friend with tears glistening in her eyes. “Sometimes, I wonder if ah mek a mistake kicking her daddy out. Ah mean at least he would be here now fi help me.”

“Dodes. Nuh duh dat tuh yuself gial. You did what you felt was best at the time. He was cheating on you and withholding money and spending it on the other women. How you know anything would be better or even different now? 10 years later? Maybe you guys would be fighting so much, it would be worse. And then he has five more children pan top. What if he mi have dey while he mideh wid u still? How u miwa deal wid dat? And what bout Melanie and Lyndsey? They wouldn’t be here now, would they?

Dodes smiled weakly and shook her head. “Anyways, suh Darnell have dis habit fuh nuh duh his chores and den po Marion end up di hafi do dem bc by di time I get home, da time fi Darnell duh ih homework. You know he nuh as smaat as di girls and so he tek twice as long fi duh anyting. Suh Marion decide dat she wa staat get back afta Darnell and stop wash ih clothes and shi di hide dey anda di bed stuck up all in between di bodes dem. I di look fi days everywhere befo ah finally find dey. Darnell di wear di same unifahm fi neahly a week now. Ah haftu di wash it da nite and heng it inna di bathroom. Suh dis mawnin, Marion squirt tootpaste pan di shirt and po Darnell had to goh da school wid a wet shirt cause ah had to rinse out di spot. And we use Close Up cause da di cheapest and da rass red. So po Darnell shut gat dis pink lookin stain crass and crass it. Aye.”

Bernie is laughing now as she imagines Marion doing this to her brother. “But Dodes, gial. Why yu nuh mek Darnell wash ih own cothes fi tru? He di get big unuh? Even lee Melanie wash clothes with Marion pan Saturday.’

“Really? Ah nevah know she midi actually wash di clothes. Ah know dey go dungstayz tugeddah but ah mi tink shi just di kip Marion company,’ said Dodes. “Ah feel like sumtimes my life jus outta control Bernie. Ah feel like day in and day out, ah just work and work and work and fi what? Ah di lose mi pickney. Sumtimes di look whe Marion give me, ah wah slap ah but den ah jus wah dissapear eena wah hole. Dah like shi hate mi. Anyway,” Dodes chewed a piece of her tortilla and swallowed before continuing,” Ah di try explain tuh Marion dat even doh Darnell wrong fi nuh duh ih chores and ih nuh wash ih own clothes and she hafi end up di duh it, shi just as wrong for hiding his clothes and ruining his shirt. Shi tell me how whe she do nuh as bad as whe hi duh and plus top, he get everything fuh duh absolutely nutting and shi get nutting fi duh absolutely everything. When dey wah lawn dat in di meantime, di two ah dey di mek it haad pan me! Ah just di try mek a life fuh all a wi you know? and ih feel like nuh mattah whe ah try duh, ah ciant get head and all dey duh dah fight di mek it woss!”

Dodes starts to smile. “Sound like friggin UDP and PUP huh? ‘you tief’ ‘no yu tief!’ Dodes moves from side to side changing her voice to represent each side.

“well, at least ah nuh as teifah as u!”

“Who seh so? wi still nuh know how much yu tief! At least when we tief, we pass it on to the people! Ask evibadi whe get turkey and ham fi krismus. At least dat da sumting!”

“Ha! what people? fi u people? O wait! da nuh even fi we people! Da di bloody alien whe uno just hurry friggin give citizenship!”

“Well when election time cum, u always drag out alla your votahs dem, even di one whe dead fuh 20 yeahs! At least ah nevah tek money fram Ashcroft fu mi campaign! Go google da shit! Ih deh ret deh pan wikipedia! And a bet dah only di million whe uno cop tu! Who knows how much ih reaaaaaalllly give uno!”

“Well look pan kettle di cuss pat! Who u fi seh jack shit? You represent di man den tun rung and sue ah??? Conflict of interest much? u lucky u nuh dead! You sure hitman nuh deh afta u?”

At this Dodes looked squarely at her friend,” Meanwhile me and you di get busup like pinata, right Bernie? Ah mean really? Put puss eena bag which one cum out fus? And dey one pa tv! O my lord!” Dodes puts her hands on her hips and imitates the tv personalities they all knew so well. ” I know my party nuh perfect but that is in the past! We are talking about this government today! They promise to do bettah and they haven’t! They are just as corrupt so out they must go!'” At this, Dodes cut her eye and sucked her teeth. “Da stupid di tawk but nuh stupid di listen. Ah mean who dey di fool? How I supposed to vote dem back in when demi worse and dey di actually agree da demi worse?? Soh dis govament tief tuh suh let’s vote een di one whe tiefarah! My goodness!”

By this time Bernie is laughing heartily. She loved it when Dodes got funny. “Aye, Dodes. Stop! U wah mek ah drop off ah disya wiyah. Hmmmmm.” She catches her breath. “Dodes. Dodes! Di bus di cum! Go lock u doh hurry!”

Dodes flies off to lock her door before the bus stops on her street.

“See you latah, Berns! whooohooo!” waved Dodes.

“Bye Dodes! See u latah fi tea!” waved back Bernie.

Dodes seemed in much higher spirits as she made her way to work. Another day, another win against unemployment and poverty. She made a silent promise that she wouldn’t lose her focus and determination even when her children questioned her actions. She needed to talk to Marion. She couldn’t stand the thought of losing her best ally, her best friend in this world. If she only knew that is exactly why Marion resents her.