Wifey and Sweetheart Get Di Bukut!!!! by Fayemarie Anderson Carter


Suh…. I am so sure that you have heard EVERY Belizean man and woman seh dat dey don’t tolerate cheating but if da like how dey deal wid di palitishan dem? Well. You know exactly how dat end!

From the time we are old enough to talk, if you are a girl, people tell you to “keep your shape; lawn fi cook; nuh laff tu loud; cross yu leg; be a good girl OR ELSE yu nuh wa get a good man”.  Ting is, da whe dey tell di man dem? Caz ah nu tink dey get di memo. You might hear “be a man, stop cry; beat dat, nuh mek nobadi tawk to you suh; les go da Mile 8; tell u gial u gwen play basketball or tell shi da nun a fi shi business whe u goh; you mek di money, shi fi just shet up and serve you yuh dinnah!”

So girl marries boy. She might have a job but that doesn’t matter. She still washes, cooks, takes care of the kids, and cleans up after everyone. She doesn’t get a say in how money is spent or how decisions are made BUT she must honour whatever arrangements her husband might make so that they “look good”. So, she cooks for people she doesn’t like; she raises funds for causes she doesn’t support; she watches her man go to the bar and blow his pay check while the pickney need school uniform and books; and if she raises her concern, she bettah watch she don’t get slap right affa fi shi foot! Caz he da di boss and u bettah know your damn place. And if you dare nuh listen, he wa lef yu rass and tek a sweetheart. And if you reeeeeally piss him off, while you stay home and mind yu pickney? He wa ker she da fancy restaurant and buy ah sum chicken and suh Belikin fi wash it down. AND the cherry on top of that humiliating cheating, lying and beat up Sundae is? He will blame you and seh da caz yu get fat, or yu like rail up tu much or yu dah jus nuh fun no moh.

So den yuh get caught up inna wa love triangle, square, pentagon? Some wifeys think dey getting revenge by cheating right back; some stay deh and pretend like dey dont know, and den di Shali pickney staat show up da di back dooh. And one day, shi look inna di mirror and realize dat she’s all thorns and no rose. See, cause she told herself, “I live inna di big house”; “my pickney gat fi hi name”; “he come home to me” ;”I da Mrs”.

Di sweetheart she? Well, she get reputation so nobody in society wants to associate her and she finds herself being passed around from one married man to the next, each time, she tells herself  “dis one love me..si di pretty bracelet? si di new refridge? And mi baby got soft hair like ih daddy”; “dis one wa lef ih wife”. But he doesn’t and she cries again and soon shi look inna di mirror and realize she is all thorns and no rose.

The sweetheart and wifey might sometimes meet in public and wifey cut shi eye; sweetheart hallah bout “mi son da fi yu man!” Each one has her posse in her corner whe jeer and sweat fevah.  Wifey is the victim because of “that low down sketel di try tief wa good honest man like mi husband. Shi da jus wa homewreckah! Don’t that street gial realize that shi di tek mi pickney food outta dey mouth and dey pa from whe he belang? She so sleck, shi gat pickney fuh all kinda man, dey all gat different name!” The Sweetheart is the victim because “that fat cow nuh wa give mi man wa divorce! Don’t that old hux realize dat him nuh luv ah numoh? She da just di stupidest ass fi di try hold awn to something whe nuh wah she! He tell mi dat shi cant give a di sex like me!”

Now turn dat into a lovestory about the PUP, UDP and Belizeans. “Mrs.” da di diehard. Those voters will stick to their party like the wife to the husband. They hide the lies; they defend their behaviour and all the while, everybody can see that their eyes black and blue and swollen from the bitchlick. But, they hold on for dear life because they just can’t imagine no different and don’t believe they deserve better. The sweetheart? They are the voters just looking for a handout. They keep switching sides, chasing the one with the sweetest lines and the biggest promises, telling themselves  “this time will be different!”; “He da di one!” And, they do that because they also can’t can’t imagine no different and don’t believe that they deserve better. The two a dem fraid fi challenge because all of a sudden, they will lose their job, or they will be publicly ridiculed or they will lose funding for some project or a loan will be recalled or their children won’t get scholarships or even considered for positions they are qualified for. O and the latest one, you might get sued for slander and libel.

And the man? When him dead, him happy and content. After all, he get what he mi want right? And he tell himself that both dem bitches lucky he tolerate either one a dem. Dey bettah just know. He da di boss. Whe dey gat fi camplain bout? Wifey inna house and sweetheart get shi chicken. Ting dun. Him pave your street and give di other one wa ham. Ting dun.

Whe miya seh? Step back. The only reason this keeps happening over and over is caz like the Wifey and the Sweetheart, we, the Belizeans don’t believe it can be different or that we deserve any better.  We have allowed a bunch of self serving, egotistical, deceitful, unethical, criminal politicians to take over that which is ours and we settle for the pittance they decide we deserve. They don’t even fight their own battles cause like the wife and the sweetheart, dey posse do it for them.  I mean, we do it for them. We call each other names and refuse to work together against corruption and fight for our rights. Meanwhile, they ride around in their air conditioned rides and vacation on their private islands, whe dey just tief fram yu, by the way.

So…on this here Valentine’s Day..kick dey no good cheaters to di curb…wifey and sweetheart need fi tell huzzy who da di boss! Stop fight each other and fight together for what’s right. First you have to love yourself don’t you? Buy yu own damn chocolate and flowers numa! And make dat man know it is his privilege to be with you! Just like we need to let our leaders know “It is a privilege to serve US”. When Wifey and Sweetheart wa realize dat it aint about them but about the children they both have to watch suffer? And those kids got one name: Belizean.

Daily Dingleberry 02-08-12


Be the Change You Want to See

SOOOOOoooooooooooooooo….I have had the opportunity to get real close to some controversy stewing and bubbling under the surface in our medical community. I’m not going to delve into it here. Instead I want to ask that everyone take a step back and center their thoughts, feelings and redefine their purpose.

It is always gut wrenching when we are face to face with poverty and the plight of the poor. Babies die from simple preventable maladies like dehydration. Mothers die from cancer and leave their children motherless. Fathers don’t live to give their little girls away or raise their sons to be men. It is sad. It is devastating. And some of us are deeply moved by these stories and the pained faces telling them. Some of us turn away. Some of us dig in and fight to overcome.

While these fighters are sincere and their fight noble, we can not let emotions undermine our good work and progress. The harsh reality is we are a poor nation. Resources are few to nonexistent. The government, red or blue, will always have way more on their plate than they can possibly handle. Throw in some ignorant, under educated, greedy, unscrupulous, egotistical maniacs and it just became 10x harder to get anything done. In this way, even people with good intentions will find themselves bogged down in the mire of corruption, stagnation and party politics. Barring ALL that and sometimes, you just have to consider that there isn’t the money to get the job done.

Sadly, it seems that this is where we turn on each other and destroy the only layer left between the poor and abject poverty and misery.

Please let’s not do this. Life can be incredibly long when filled with strife and difficulty. Just because we don’t get what we want right this second while we are buoyed by passion and conviction, doesn’t mean that the issue will go away or lose its importance any time soon. Much is accomplished by individuals rather than a government and perhaps that is the way to needs to be. Keep your heart strong and your determination stronger and you will get what you want. But if you burn bridges along the way and attack the very people who are supporting you, you just may end up causing more difficulty and strife for the very people you were hoping to help.

Sometimes you gotta kiss till you can kick and ain’t nothing wrong with knowing when to do that when you have a larger purpose than yourself.

Daily Dingleberry 02-07-12


What democracy is NOT but has become

Double edged sword is what it is…what is? This politician/god thing we got going here. Of course, it stems from our complicated colonial/buccaneering history. As much as we hate to hear it, we do live it. People are still very much stratified according to colour of skin and position in Belize. To an onlooker, it might be impossible to imagine. We all look brown, right? We all ain’t white, right? So, what is the problem?

Well, actually I think that makes it worse because it pits brother against brother, grandchild against grandmother. Is it any wonder then, that we glorify our leaders?

Our socioeconomic situation creates intense desperation and fierce competition for the few opportunities and resources available, so when one of us “makes it” in politics, we clamor for his/her attention and favour. This may flatter and appeal to our “hero complex” but that doesn’t last long, I’m sure. Soon enough, there is too much to deal with, not enough time, money and manpower and before you know it, people get frustrated, disappointed and then, resentful. That leader we thought was better than free cheese and sliced bread becomes in our estimation, greedy, self serving, “out of touch”, hypocritical and downright demonic. We vote them out. Rinse. Repeat. And we are in the hole we are in.

Look people. Don’t give politicians qualities best reserved for saints. Politicians, don’t make promises you can’t keep just to win temporary adoration and votes.

We need to mature as a nation. We have to stop this codependency we got going on among our constituents and our politicians. That politician will not solve our problems and our constituents can’t pull themselves up by their bootstraps if they don’t gats no boots! We have to find a medium where politicians just do their jobs i.e. overseeing the appropriation of funding for beneficial projects; negotiate loans and settle border disputes. Politicians need to insist that our judicial system is sound and that our streets are safe. AND WE THE PEOPLE need to realize that WE ARE THEIR BOSS, not the other way around.

We, the people, need to understand our rights, our responsibilities and start taking ourselves seriously. We need to understand what a politician is really obligated to do. We need to set up firm boundaries between what is his/her job and what he/she just can not and should not do . What is unethical versus illegal? What is within the realm of government versus what is beyond?

While we figure it out, I appeal to your sense of decency and fairness. Display decorum and respect. It is the only way to make progress. And politicians… smdh…admit you fucked up. You have no idea how far that will go to restoring good faith and confidence in your abilities. It takes great courage to admit one’s mistakes and people really are just waiting to hear you humble yourselves and for once, do the right thing. We have been on borrowed time. The bottom will fall out. Let’s try to avoid that please. We have so much to gain if we work together and not against each other. And while we are it, throw some bitches in jail.

OWN YOUR VOTE. OWN YOUR FUTURE.

Daily Dingleberry 02-06-12


Freddie Mercury of QUEEN

I wonder how many people think about the fact that when they are at a game where male hormones and sweat create an oppressive sweet stink, the song that riles them up the most was written by a GAY man?

Yes. It is true. “We Are The Champions” was written by Freddie Mercury, the head queen of the band QUEEN. The song was on the “A” side of one of dem itty bitty 45’s with, guess what on the other side? “We Will Rock You” was written by  QUEEN’s lead guitarist Brian May.

So, if you want to be a true homophobe, make sure you don’t caught shaking your fists and wiggling your ass to either of these songs, ok???? We, the rest of the logical thinking, tolerant lovers of all people and our differences world, would like it if you would identify your ignorant, fear and hate mongering self, by raising your voice in singular protest and walking out of whatever arena you are in. We would really not like to add “hypocrite” to the list of adjectives we use to describe people like you. If you find yourself unable to do so, then you will have to face the realization that you just might secretly like gay people and you will have to drop the whole “I hate all fags and you are going to hell” thing. Are you swallowing hard just about now? It’s that crow you’re eating.

Promote love and acceptance for all, people. Support your GBLT community and call people out when you see them being hateful. Gays are human beings with feelings and gifts and love to spread just like you and I. Respect their right to decency and dignity. CHANGE THE LAWS THAT OPPRESS YOUR FELLOW MAN. If you believe in god, you should already know not to judge…ooooh…YOU might be the one going to hell…

ugh

Daily Dingleberry 02-02-2012


Lawd a mercy….can we get some solid facts up in this bitch? Being dramatic will only get you so far. I’m gagging on all the half mek stories that are being thrown out here. A sprinkling of info without a context is not good information. Sorry. Tuned out. Not listening. Dah who uno tink uno di tawk tu? A bunch a bleedin hearts who ciant tink? LOoK! We all broke so you ciant tell me nuhmoh ’bout money. We have to stop expecting the government to do EVERYTHING and you bitches ain’t payin no damn taxes! Where di hell we go get money to do all this stuff we keep asking for? It’s easy to point to either party when it was in power and say “you didn’t do blah blah blah”. EASY. We poh people. Solid facts are when you are poor as a country, babies will die; children will starve; old people will be sick; roads will have pot holes. SO, what are the priorities? We have to stop and think. We have to strategize (I think I just made up a word) and work with what we have. You make plans for every level of participation, funding etc and just do what you can. But this blame blame mentality is really grinding on my last damn nerves so just stop it. Face it. Even if people wanted to help us they won’t because there is no where to go and give the money. End of Story. Everybadi tu damn teif…fix dat and u will see how the country change.

Daily Dingleberry 01-29-12


It’s Sunday. A day of tradition for many…church…Sunday dinner…family time. What are you doing today? I’m looking out my window at some gorgeous fresh snow on the ground.  We still have not gotten the  “up to your knees kind’, but there’s still enough to inspire a sense of calm and peace. I wish I could send that feeling of serenity to you, out there, with fettered hearts and buried souls.

There is a bubbling tension and the rising stench of animosity in the Facebook world. There is a growing tendency for some to measure their good works against the perceived failings of others, coupled with derisive criticism of what is deemed apathy or lack of true loyalty to Belize. That is so mean spirited and self glorifying and divisive. I don’t understand why people feel the need to put down others. It’s like taking a big stick and whopping it across someone’s face. It’s humiliating and violent and most of all, useless and unnecessary. Most people are inherently good and want to feel appreciated and needed. Most of us would love to work for a cause and feel pride in our efforts. Our problem is, we have no one we admire enough to follow, no entity trustworthy and deserving of our deference.

Not everybody can be leaders. Not everyone wants be to a leader. So why does it seem that Belizean leaders get on their over inflated egos, like some big old BULLFROG and spit in the eyes of those who would want to follow them? You “leaders” out there, why insult others because they won’t, can’t do as you do? Do you really want the competition? Think about that for a second. You really want a bunch of leaders and no followers? You need somebody to lead, right?

Just because someone is not like you, doesn’t make him/her weak, inferior or less committed (*insert cuss word here). And not all of us can work tirelessly and with intense dedication at the same time that you might be. Not all of us have the same kind of intelligence or gifts. Nothing angers me more than when someone who is obviously exceptional in some way, uses it to thump others on the head. Don’t you understand it is an accident of birth? It is due to thousand of years of evolution and tireless culling of our genetic fiber that created you? You don’t belong to just you. You belong to every single human being who contributed to your particular DNA. In that way, you have every obligation to use your talents, your gifts towards the betterance of humanity.

So, instead of touting your good deeds, puffing out your chest like a BULLFROG, and decrying the lack of reward or recognition, understand that you are always part of something larger. In other words, get over yourself and get to work. And you, out there, who will benefit from the brilliant work of these exceptional people, do not mock them when they stumble. Do not lose faith when they make a wrong turn. We will make mistakes all of us, but, the failure is not the one who tried and failed. The failure is the one who never tried at all.

Insert Name Here by Fayemarie Anderson Carter


It’s mid-morning in the Jewel. Bernie is sitting on the wire alone and she can smell coconut oil and frying onions and hear pressure cookers rattling. Usually, she is in her office writing or doing light book keeping for her husband; but, today she feels closed in by all her thoughts and feelings. She tries not to show it to her friend, Dodes, just how much she is concerned about the state of their country.  That is just not the dynamic of their friendship. Dodes has always clung to Bernie’s every word and reserved a special benefit of the doubt for her.  It got to the point that Bernie had to gently admonish her friend against putting her on such a lofty pedestal. She becomes  especially uncomfortable when Dodes puts herself down and defers  to her because of her education and position in society. No matter how much she tries to show egalitarian consideration, Dodes refuses to act like her equal. In this way, Bernie can’t ever truly be herself around Dodes.  Dodes has put her in the position of mentor and guide. It would not do to show any sort of weakness as the disappointment would upset Dodes’ estimation of her. Bernie is Dodes’ rock, a compass in this crazy, overwhelming world. If Bernie should voice any misgivings or uncertainty, Dodes would be sure to overreact and feel like the sky is truly falling. Bernie doesn’t mind being this for Dodes. She understands that Dodes is alone and needs her to be that stabilizing force in her life. She plays the role well and is nurturing, supportive and even motherly as Dodes sometimes needs her to be.  The downside is  that it left Bernie without a confidante and that makes her feel lonely at times. She could only be her true self with her husband, Joe and her friend, Judith. But, Judith does not live here and is often busy herself and Bernie hates talking on telephones so essentially, that leaves her with herself, thoughts swimming and fears unabated. 

It had taken her a long time to realize that she was not meant to have many close friends as she had tried to force others to play that role. Eventually, they fell away and she never heard from them again, or worse, they would turn on her and misunderstand everything she tried to say or do. The catch is, even though she has her husband right there, all the time, he is very busy. He works non-stop on his various contracts and while they are lucrative, sometimes, the work just drained everything out of him. In that way, she becomes nurturer again and has to wait until he could be available to her. So here she was alone, trying to be patient. Patience had not come to her very easily. Her passion and youth had made every issue, every thought seem so important that she felt compelled to try and come to a resolution as quickly as possible. She had learned over the years, that, that was just not how the world works; and that while she could attempt to engage others into reaching resolutions to arguments, crises, and challenges, forcibly and loudly was not a way to maintain friendships and alliances, no matter how right she felt she was. Now, she had learned that her anxieties were her own to deal with and while others could try to be supportive, she couldn’t expect them to know what to do or how to do it. She and only she could make herself feel calm and determined to continue on. 

She felt a flap of air and turned towards it. It was Buster Piam Piam.

“Hey Bustah. What yu doin here? I thought you were at Robinson’s Point with Paulie.”

“I was Bernie but I came back earlier than planned. Granny Ivy is not doing to well so we came home to be with the family.”

“O Bustah, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Well, she is doing better already, as usual.” Bustah laughed. “I swear, she does it on purpose. She heah we outta town, get jealous, play sick just fi ruin we good times.”  Bustah smiled at Bernie.

“Ahh Bustah. You and that morbid humour of yours. Nevah change, heah?” Bernie smiled at her friend but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Oh oh. I think I interrupt some deep thoughts here Bernie. You look like you gots your thinking cap on.”

“O Bustah. You are in the world of economics. What do you think about this supah bond business? As far as I can tell, it sounds like crippling debt that we can never repay and I get really perturbed at the thought that I absolutely have no idea where it all went!” Bernie lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Berns, it was a bad idea. I don’t know all the ins and outs of it but it would seem that yet again, for the fleeting moment of glory, we spilled our guts. And now everybody is scrambling to make this seem ok. Meanwhile, the politicians are fighting away pointing fingahs. Shit ah wish they would just get close enough to each other and poke each oddah  eye out…dah nuh like dey need dey eye! Dey all blind anyways!”  Bustah slapped Bernie on her back as he guffawed. Bernie was startled but she joined in since she wouldn’t want to send the wrong message and hurt Buster’s feelings. Problem was, she really didn’t feel like laughing. She felt to burdened by her fears and unanswered questions.

Changing the topic, Bernie asked Buster, “Wheh yu oddah half dey? Usually him nuh tuh far behind.”

“O lawd, gial Bernie. Paulie meet a gial da caye. She da di cook and every week she come een fi buy produce. Soh him deh wid her right now before she haffi goh back da caye. Da bwoi always got his head undah skirt ah tell yu!”  Bernie and Bustah laughed at the thought. “And di ting is, him soh desperately in love and ciant eat nar sleep. Him drive mi crazy wid all dah talk bout dis gial or dat gial. Right now I hafi heah bout ‘Allison has such lovely long legs. Allison’s voice is so musical. Allison is so smart.’ But di ting is las week dahmi Becky…next week it wha be di same tings…’insert name here’.”

Bernie laughed at the truth of that statement. Paulie was ridiculous in love. He would be the perfect romantic partner for some lucky girl, one day, maybe.  Unfortunately, his interest waned quickly and soon he was mooning over someone new. She likes the statement “insert name here”. It describes how she feels about all the politicians, just now. It doesn’t seem to matter who, which party, what the accusations are, who tief, who tek, who liad, who get outta facing consequences for committing crimes…just “insert name here”. Her mood started to deflate again.

“Bernie, Bernie!” Bustah’s voice rang in her ear, jolting her back to the conversation.

“Huh? Sorry Bustah. Ah midi tink again. Whe u midi seh?”

“Ah ask u if u have time fi a lee bite. Ih luk like u need some distraction befo da big head a yours explode,”  Bustah said with a kind, understanding smile.

“You know what Bustah? Long time ah haven’t been to Seaside Cafe. Ah always feel so peaceful there with the waves lapping and the breeze in my face. Can we go there? They have the freshest papaya you ever tasted.”

“Alright Bernie. You are on but I want a watermelon margarita too!”

“Well talk about ‘it’s five o’clock somewhere’!” chuckled Bernice. “I might just hafi join you. I need some fun Bustah. Do I ever need some fun right about now. Lemme just tell Joe and I’ll be right back.”

Buster watched his school friend fly up to her house with some sadness in his heart. He rarely ever saw Bernie so deflated and pensive. She was a thinker, even as a child but she was also a fun, quick witted provocateur. It got her into trouble with the stuffy, authoritative teachers when they were in school, but she hadn’t let that change her. She just got more spirited and challenging. Buster knew that Bernie was probably not worried for herself as much as she was worried for others who were already struggling. He knew that like himself, people sometimes doubted her sincerity because it was obvious she was wealthy and that she struggled to balance charity against pity. She had always voiced strong hopes that as Belize became more and more developed, that  those poverty stricken and seemingly forgotten areas would finally get electricity and the stagnant drains that were breeding grounds for mosquitoes and thus responsible for yearly outbreaks of malaria, would finally be connected to the city sewer systems. He knew that she was probably seeing all those dreams just crumble under the weight of the reality of the financial crisis facing Belize.

“Hey Bustah! Now dah yu di drift off. First round is on you! Let’s go have some fun, man.” Bernie smiled at her friend encouragingly.

“Alright Berns. But if you get tu tipsy tu fly, u pay fi di taxi!” And in his usual gentlemanly way, Bustah let Bernie fly off first, elegantly and sure, she headed towards the beach.

Duh Soh, Nuh Like Duh Soh by Fayemarie Anderson Carter


It is a sunny morning in the Jewel and children all over are rushing to school. Some stop at the Chineyman shop to buy haadtimes and sweets or pencils and erasers. Others dawdle on corners waiting for their friends to catch up so they can walk the rest of the way together. On the junction of Fortification and Judgement Streets, passersby can hear the screeching of a frustrated Dodes as she hustles the children out the door. 

Marion! Marion! Get your little sister and get your bottoms out of here NOW!” screamed Dodes.

“But MOOOOM! She is so slow dis morning and she will make me late. Can’t you take her?” asked Marion.

“Marion, if you backansa mi one mo time, ah wa wahm you lee rass fi be suh rude,” responds a very visibly angry Dodes.

Bernie hails the children from her perch trying to distract them and Dodes from escalating and also to signal to Dodes that the neighbours are hearing everything.

Morning, Marion, Lyndsey. You bettah run a little to catch up on time, girls. You only have 20 minutes. Hold her hand Lyndsey and don’t give Marion any trouble ok? See you dis evening girls. Maybe you come visit me and I’ll have some treats fuh yu ok?” said Bernie kindly.

She didn’t deal with this in the morning at all. Their driver took her children to school and she had time then to chat with Dodes over a cup of tea before she had to go to the factory. The bus passed by their street around 8:45 am. She was the last one the company driver picked up. She was close to the highway and it was only five miles to the factory. They usually made it with about six minutes to spare, just enough for a last bathroom run before she clocked in at 9:00 on the dot.

Dodes looked especially flustered as she sidled next to Bernie. “Aye, gial. Sumtimes, deya pickney just tek it outta mi. My day staat at 5 in the mawning. By di time da damn bus come? Ah ready fi lay down again.” Dodes sighed heavily.

“Come Dodes. Ah have yu tea ready fi yu. Ah cud call Maisy and have her bring us some fresh tortillas if you want, with some dutch cheese? guava jelly?”

“Thanks, Bernie. Ah mek breakfast fi di pickney but den dey staat fight and of course, ah nevah finish mines.” Bernie calls to her housekeeper, Maisy and instructs her to bring Dodes some breakfast.

“Now Dodes. Tell mi whe happen. All ah heah da lata railin up and screamin. Who do what now?”

“Well da Marion and Darnell again. Ah nevah know what wa set off Marion these days. Shi so quiet and moody and her mouth di staat to sting.” Dodes looks up at her friend with tears glistening in her eyes. “Sometimes, I wonder if ah mek a mistake kicking her daddy out. Ah mean at least he would be here now fi help me.”

“Dodes. Nuh duh dat tuh yuself gial. You did what you felt was best at the time. He was cheating on you and withholding money and spending it on the other women. How you know anything would be better or even different now? 10 years later? Maybe you guys would be fighting so much, it would be worse. And then he has five more children pan top. What if he mi have dey while he mideh wid u still? How u miwa deal wid dat? And what bout Melanie and Lyndsey? They wouldn’t be here now, would they?

Dodes smiled weakly and shook her head. “Anyways, suh Darnell have dis habit fuh nuh duh his chores and den po Marion end up di hafi do dem bc by di time I get home, da time fi Darnell duh ih homework. You know he nuh as smaat as di girls and so he tek twice as long fi duh anyting. Suh Marion decide dat she wa staat get back afta Darnell and stop wash ih clothes and shi di hide dey anda di bed stuck up all in between di bodes dem. I di look fi days everywhere befo ah finally find dey. Darnell di wear di same unifahm fi neahly a week now. Ah haftu di wash it da nite and heng it inna di bathroom. Suh dis mawnin, Marion squirt tootpaste pan di shirt and po Darnell had to goh da school wid a wet shirt cause ah had to rinse out di spot. And we use Close Up cause da di cheapest and da rass red. So po Darnell shut gat dis pink lookin stain crass and crass it. Aye.”

Bernie is laughing now as she imagines Marion doing this to her brother. “But Dodes, gial. Why yu nuh mek Darnell wash ih own cothes fi tru? He di get big unuh? Even lee Melanie wash clothes with Marion pan Saturday.’

“Really? Ah nevah know she midi actually wash di clothes. Ah know dey go dungstayz tugeddah but ah mi tink shi just di kip Marion company,’ said Dodes. “Ah feel like sumtimes my life jus outta control Bernie. Ah feel like day in and day out, ah just work and work and work and fi what? Ah di lose mi pickney. Sumtimes di look whe Marion give me, ah wah slap ah but den ah jus wah dissapear eena wah hole. Dah like shi hate mi. Anyway,” Dodes chewed a piece of her tortilla and swallowed before continuing,” Ah di try explain tuh Marion dat even doh Darnell wrong fi nuh duh ih chores and ih nuh wash ih own clothes and she hafi end up di duh it, shi just as wrong for hiding his clothes and ruining his shirt. Shi tell me how whe she do nuh as bad as whe hi duh and plus top, he get everything fuh duh absolutely nutting and shi get nutting fi duh absolutely everything. When dey wah lawn dat in di meantime, di two ah dey di mek it haad pan me! Ah just di try mek a life fuh all a wi you know? and ih feel like nuh mattah whe ah try duh, ah ciant get head and all dey duh dah fight di mek it woss!”

Dodes starts to smile. “Sound like friggin UDP and PUP huh? ‘you tief’ ‘no yu tief!’ Dodes moves from side to side changing her voice to represent each side.

“well, at least ah nuh as teifah as u!”

“Who seh so? wi still nuh know how much yu tief! At least when we tief, we pass it on to the people! Ask evibadi whe get turkey and ham fi krismus. At least dat da sumting!”

“Ha! what people? fi u people? O wait! da nuh even fi we people! Da di bloody alien whe uno just hurry friggin give citizenship!”

“Well when election time cum, u always drag out alla your votahs dem, even di one whe dead fuh 20 yeahs! At least ah nevah tek money fram Ashcroft fu mi campaign! Go google da shit! Ih deh ret deh pan wikipedia! And a bet dah only di million whe uno cop tu! Who knows how much ih reaaaaaalllly give uno!”

“Well look pan kettle di cuss pat! Who u fi seh jack shit? You represent di man den tun rung and sue ah??? Conflict of interest much? u lucky u nuh dead! You sure hitman nuh deh afta u?”

At this Dodes looked squarely at her friend,” Meanwhile me and you di get busup like pinata, right Bernie? Ah mean really? Put puss eena bag which one cum out fus? And dey one pa tv! O my lord!” Dodes puts her hands on her hips and imitates the tv personalities they all knew so well. ” I know my party nuh perfect but that is in the past! We are talking about this government today! They promise to do bettah and they haven’t! They are just as corrupt so out they must go!'” At this, Dodes cut her eye and sucked her teeth. “Da stupid di tawk but nuh stupid di listen. Ah mean who dey di fool? How I supposed to vote dem back in when demi worse and dey di actually agree da demi worse?? Soh dis govament tief tuh suh let’s vote een di one whe tiefarah! My goodness!”

By this time Bernie is laughing heartily. She loved it when Dodes got funny. “Aye, Dodes. Stop! U wah mek ah drop off ah disya wiyah. Hmmmmm.” She catches her breath. “Dodes. Dodes! Di bus di cum! Go lock u doh hurry!”

Dodes flies off to lock her door before the bus stops on her street.

“See you latah, Berns! whooohooo!” waved Dodes.

“Bye Dodes! See u latah fi tea!” waved back Bernie.

Dodes seemed in much higher spirits as she made her way to work. Another day, another win against unemployment and poverty. She made a silent promise that she wouldn’t lose her focus and determination even when her children questioned her actions. She needed to talk to Marion. She couldn’t stand the thought of losing her best ally, her best friend in this world. If she only knew that is exactly why Marion resents her.

Daily Dingleberry 01-20-12


Belizeans taking this “we are a nation of pirates” LITERALLY as they host website accused of piracy.If you haven’t heard of SOPA then you have been under a rock 😛 The US is trying to get laws passed that basically attacks the freedom of the internet and it’s pissing off a lot of people including my 10 year old. So, this group Anonymous does things to retaliate or just grief government agencies in protest. Yesterday, the FBI shut down the website http://www.megaupload.com bc it accuses it of being an entity that engages in illegal file sharing SO Anonymous shut down the FBI’s computer system. You with me so far? THIS MORNING ABC reports that megaupload is back online using a BELIZE web address. I’m not sure what that means for Belize but it  sure doesn’t help our case days after being reported as being poor cause we tu corrupt and tief???!!! Remember that likkle article that pissed everybody off? Weeeeellllll….may be now we can accept that the whole world is watching us EAT CROW. BAWK!!!!

 

 

For a full and more detailed explanation: http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/justice-fbi-crack-megauploadcom-hackers-hit-feds-entertainment/story?id=15396526&page=2#.TxmDQG9PvBs

Daily Dingleberry 01-19-12


Miss me???? I took a break yesterday for BLACKOUT day in support of Wikipedia 🙂 So back to business!

People! Why are we still aligning with any party? I see people fervently accuse both parties of the same crime/misconduct while acknowledging that they “know” that their party isn’t perfect and that they do it too blah blah blah. OMG really??? So, do as I say but not as I do??? Scratching my head. Reminds me of those commercials where the kids are in a room and one gets a toy car and the other gets  one gets a real car for no good reason, just because, even though they both opened the same account at the same bank. This is just beyond ridiculous. We all make deposits into the same bank. We all try to follow the rules and provide for our children. We are all concerned about the same future: OUR FUTURE. YOU who got the fancy car, don’t shut your mouth because you got something from the government. You will get the same shitty end of the stick as the one who didn’t get the fancy car. Fire the bank. Don’t put your money there. Want for you neighbour what you would like for yourself because one day, you will be the kid getting the toy car. Don’t give ANYBODY the power to play with your money, your citizenship, your laws, your FUTURE.

OWN YOURSELF.

You deserve all that is fair and good and LAWFUL. It is the friggin LEAST we can expect from the people we hired. YES WE HIRE OUR POLITICIANS. So if they are breaking the law, being unethical, FIRE THEY ASS. Red and Blue mek purple….who like get bruise up? You like da black eye? how bout da bruk hand? Cripple foot? Before you get brain damage too, pull your head out of your ass! Make peace with my piece, lovers 😉