Daily Dingleberry 01-22-12


OK PIPPLE!!!! This one REALLLLLLY bothers me. We are being damn hypocritical about the way we express our feelings about immigrants coming to Belize…I can hear the spit fly and bile swallow when we seh “deh pania”. But people, many of our family members are immigrants facing the same prejudice in other countries, yes? Especially, the US????? How can we show such animosity to a group many of us represent? And then, cussing how they take our jobs while we starve? Why di hell you nuh di pick fruit and calleck garbage? Why you nuh di chap cane and clean toilet? What? You tu good fi mek an honest dallah? YEAH….you much rather work the biggest industry we got in Belize right? WESTERN UNION! Well mek ah tell uno di straight up straight. YOUR relatives tyad ah you di beg fi money. YOUR relatives tyad ah heah bout deh alien whe tek uno job and das why  u bruk! Cause the irony is? You di depend pan wa immigrant di tek somebadi job ret yah da states tu! And it aint no fun to feel unwelcome and unwanted and treated less than. when we are developing and contributing to the communities within which we live.  Don’t be hatin’ on your neighbours, man. We are all part of one world, one human family. Show some compassion and in the meantime, stop lying to yourself about why you are in the situation you are in. Dah yuh paliticians tief! Dah yu son di sell weed! Da u nuh wa do jobs yu feel are beneath you! If you want your country to grow and become strong, you literally have to toil the soil you are so desperately fighting about and for.

Put that in your bong and smoke it!

Duh Soh, Nuh Like Duh Soh by Fayemarie Anderson Carter


It is a sunny morning in the Jewel and children all over are rushing to school. Some stop at the Chineyman shop to buy haadtimes and sweets or pencils and erasers. Others dawdle on corners waiting for their friends to catch up so they can walk the rest of the way together. On the junction of Fortification and Judgement Streets, passersby can hear the screeching of a frustrated Dodes as she hustles the children out the door. 

Marion! Marion! Get your little sister and get your bottoms out of here NOW!” screamed Dodes.

“But MOOOOM! She is so slow dis morning and she will make me late. Can’t you take her?” asked Marion.

“Marion, if you backansa mi one mo time, ah wa wahm you lee rass fi be suh rude,” responds a very visibly angry Dodes.

Bernie hails the children from her perch trying to distract them and Dodes from escalating and also to signal to Dodes that the neighbours are hearing everything.

Morning, Marion, Lyndsey. You bettah run a little to catch up on time, girls. You only have 20 minutes. Hold her hand Lyndsey and don’t give Marion any trouble ok? See you dis evening girls. Maybe you come visit me and I’ll have some treats fuh yu ok?” said Bernie kindly.

She didn’t deal with this in the morning at all. Their driver took her children to school and she had time then to chat with Dodes over a cup of tea before she had to go to the factory. The bus passed by their street around 8:45 am. She was the last one the company driver picked up. She was close to the highway and it was only five miles to the factory. They usually made it with about six minutes to spare, just enough for a last bathroom run before she clocked in at 9:00 on the dot.

Dodes looked especially flustered as she sidled next to Bernie. “Aye, gial. Sumtimes, deya pickney just tek it outta mi. My day staat at 5 in the mawning. By di time da damn bus come? Ah ready fi lay down again.” Dodes sighed heavily.

“Come Dodes. Ah have yu tea ready fi yu. Ah cud call Maisy and have her bring us some fresh tortillas if you want, with some dutch cheese? guava jelly?”

“Thanks, Bernie. Ah mek breakfast fi di pickney but den dey staat fight and of course, ah nevah finish mines.” Bernie calls to her housekeeper, Maisy and instructs her to bring Dodes some breakfast.

“Now Dodes. Tell mi whe happen. All ah heah da lata railin up and screamin. Who do what now?”

“Well da Marion and Darnell again. Ah nevah know what wa set off Marion these days. Shi so quiet and moody and her mouth di staat to sting.” Dodes looks up at her friend with tears glistening in her eyes. “Sometimes, I wonder if ah mek a mistake kicking her daddy out. Ah mean at least he would be here now fi help me.”

“Dodes. Nuh duh dat tuh yuself gial. You did what you felt was best at the time. He was cheating on you and withholding money and spending it on the other women. How you know anything would be better or even different now? 10 years later? Maybe you guys would be fighting so much, it would be worse. And then he has five more children pan top. What if he mi have dey while he mideh wid u still? How u miwa deal wid dat? And what bout Melanie and Lyndsey? They wouldn’t be here now, would they?

Dodes smiled weakly and shook her head. “Anyways, suh Darnell have dis habit fuh nuh duh his chores and den po Marion end up di hafi do dem bc by di time I get home, da time fi Darnell duh ih homework. You know he nuh as smaat as di girls and so he tek twice as long fi duh anyting. Suh Marion decide dat she wa staat get back afta Darnell and stop wash ih clothes and shi di hide dey anda di bed stuck up all in between di bodes dem. I di look fi days everywhere befo ah finally find dey. Darnell di wear di same unifahm fi neahly a week now. Ah haftu di wash it da nite and heng it inna di bathroom. Suh dis mawnin, Marion squirt tootpaste pan di shirt and po Darnell had to goh da school wid a wet shirt cause ah had to rinse out di spot. And we use Close Up cause da di cheapest and da rass red. So po Darnell shut gat dis pink lookin stain crass and crass it. Aye.”

Bernie is laughing now as she imagines Marion doing this to her brother. “But Dodes, gial. Why yu nuh mek Darnell wash ih own cothes fi tru? He di get big unuh? Even lee Melanie wash clothes with Marion pan Saturday.’

“Really? Ah nevah know she midi actually wash di clothes. Ah know dey go dungstayz tugeddah but ah mi tink shi just di kip Marion company,’ said Dodes. “Ah feel like sumtimes my life jus outta control Bernie. Ah feel like day in and day out, ah just work and work and work and fi what? Ah di lose mi pickney. Sumtimes di look whe Marion give me, ah wah slap ah but den ah jus wah dissapear eena wah hole. Dah like shi hate mi. Anyway,” Dodes chewed a piece of her tortilla and swallowed before continuing,” Ah di try explain tuh Marion dat even doh Darnell wrong fi nuh duh ih chores and ih nuh wash ih own clothes and she hafi end up di duh it, shi just as wrong for hiding his clothes and ruining his shirt. Shi tell me how whe she do nuh as bad as whe hi duh and plus top, he get everything fuh duh absolutely nutting and shi get nutting fi duh absolutely everything. When dey wah lawn dat in di meantime, di two ah dey di mek it haad pan me! Ah just di try mek a life fuh all a wi you know? and ih feel like nuh mattah whe ah try duh, ah ciant get head and all dey duh dah fight di mek it woss!”

Dodes starts to smile. “Sound like friggin UDP and PUP huh? ‘you tief’ ‘no yu tief!’ Dodes moves from side to side changing her voice to represent each side.

“well, at least ah nuh as teifah as u!”

“Who seh so? wi still nuh know how much yu tief! At least when we tief, we pass it on to the people! Ask evibadi whe get turkey and ham fi krismus. At least dat da sumting!”

“Ha! what people? fi u people? O wait! da nuh even fi we people! Da di bloody alien whe uno just hurry friggin give citizenship!”

“Well when election time cum, u always drag out alla your votahs dem, even di one whe dead fuh 20 yeahs! At least ah nevah tek money fram Ashcroft fu mi campaign! Go google da shit! Ih deh ret deh pan wikipedia! And a bet dah only di million whe uno cop tu! Who knows how much ih reaaaaaalllly give uno!”

“Well look pan kettle di cuss pat! Who u fi seh jack shit? You represent di man den tun rung and sue ah??? Conflict of interest much? u lucky u nuh dead! You sure hitman nuh deh afta u?”

At this Dodes looked squarely at her friend,” Meanwhile me and you di get busup like pinata, right Bernie? Ah mean really? Put puss eena bag which one cum out fus? And dey one pa tv! O my lord!” Dodes puts her hands on her hips and imitates the tv personalities they all knew so well. ” I know my party nuh perfect but that is in the past! We are talking about this government today! They promise to do bettah and they haven’t! They are just as corrupt so out they must go!'” At this, Dodes cut her eye and sucked her teeth. “Da stupid di tawk but nuh stupid di listen. Ah mean who dey di fool? How I supposed to vote dem back in when demi worse and dey di actually agree da demi worse?? Soh dis govament tief tuh suh let’s vote een di one whe tiefarah! My goodness!”

By this time Bernie is laughing heartily. She loved it when Dodes got funny. “Aye, Dodes. Stop! U wah mek ah drop off ah disya wiyah. Hmmmmm.” She catches her breath. “Dodes. Dodes! Di bus di cum! Go lock u doh hurry!”

Dodes flies off to lock her door before the bus stops on her street.

“See you latah, Berns! whooohooo!” waved Dodes.

“Bye Dodes! See u latah fi tea!” waved back Bernie.

Dodes seemed in much higher spirits as she made her way to work. Another day, another win against unemployment and poverty. She made a silent promise that she wouldn’t lose her focus and determination even when her children questioned her actions. She needed to talk to Marion. She couldn’t stand the thought of losing her best ally, her best friend in this world. If she only knew that is exactly why Marion resents her.

Daily Dingleberry 01-19-12


Miss me???? I took a break yesterday for BLACKOUT day in support of Wikipedia 🙂 So back to business!

People! Why are we still aligning with any party? I see people fervently accuse both parties of the same crime/misconduct while acknowledging that they “know” that their party isn’t perfect and that they do it too blah blah blah. OMG really??? So, do as I say but not as I do??? Scratching my head. Reminds me of those commercials where the kids are in a room and one gets a toy car and the other gets  one gets a real car for no good reason, just because, even though they both opened the same account at the same bank. This is just beyond ridiculous. We all make deposits into the same bank. We all try to follow the rules and provide for our children. We are all concerned about the same future: OUR FUTURE. YOU who got the fancy car, don’t shut your mouth because you got something from the government. You will get the same shitty end of the stick as the one who didn’t get the fancy car. Fire the bank. Don’t put your money there. Want for you neighbour what you would like for yourself because one day, you will be the kid getting the toy car. Don’t give ANYBODY the power to play with your money, your citizenship, your laws, your FUTURE.

OWN YOURSELF.

You deserve all that is fair and good and LAWFUL. It is the friggin LEAST we can expect from the people we hired. YES WE HIRE OUR POLITICIANS. So if they are breaking the law, being unethical, FIRE THEY ASS. Red and Blue mek purple….who like get bruise up? You like da black eye? how bout da bruk hand? Cripple foot? Before you get brain damage too, pull your head out of your ass! Make peace with my piece, lovers 😉

Reunion by Fayemarie A Carter


Faye 1Bernie Toucan and Doo Doo Chickadee are sitting on their usual spot by the junction of Fortification and Judgement Streets, having a bit of tea. It is a lovely afternoon and the long time friends are enjoying a lighthearted chat when they feel the wire dip. Both of them look over and give shrieks of surprise.

“Milli!!!! Millicent Audrey Avocet!”, exclaimed Bernie.

“Blue Shanks! Gial! Whe u di du ya?” asked Dodes excitedly. The friends come together for a warm embrace and kisses.

“Well girls. I’m here to bury my grandmother, Aurelia Avocet, memba shi? Granny Ray? She passed a few days ago and I brought her home. She insisted that she be buried here in Belize. U membah how shi does goh? Always have to have shi own way,” Mili smiled wistfully.

“I’m sorry to hear that Milli. I hope it wasn’t too difficult for you and your family?” asked Bernie.

“Well, she was almost 100 so we knew this was coming and the past few months, she was going in and out of the hospital. That was hard because it felt like I never left work, you know? Nurse at work, nurse at home,” said Milli.

“I’m sure she appreciated it, Milli,” said Bernie as she touched her friend reassuring on the shoulder.

“Gial but hmmm! Comin home da neva no joke! Dey harass me every step ah di way. Dey act like ah midi try smuggle drugs or something. Dey nuh know dat if a midi do dat, di coffin mi gwein di opposite direction? What di hell ah wa smuggle into Belize from States?” Milli’s eyes danced as she giggled. “Yu wud tink dey glad dat the immigrant di lef di country, right? Dey stop my rass da every station! Ah neahly miss mi connecting flight home. Ah tell di lady if shi nevah let mi goh, mi granny miya haunt shi rass sake a lef ah fi travel by shi self,’ said Milli.

“Haha!” laughed Dodes.”U nuh change nuh gial. U still di give trouble, big time lady and all.”

“Well! Dey piss mi off man! Ih does be dat I mi glad fi have a Belizean passport. I used to joke that I would nevah want a American one cause dey wa tek mi mek hostage. But hell! Ah di change mi mind. Ah mean, who wahn go thru da process da states? You have to pay almost a thousand dollahs den you hafi study and tek exam. Hmph! But lately, I might prefer be American.”

“Well, u know Milli, lately, wha latta pipple di rail up bout fi we citizenship. How easy it is fi get it and dat anybody could get it fi leebit a money or a simple vote inna elections. Jus di oddah day, PM give hundreds a pipple citizenship. Pipple nevah tek tu kindly. Seh how dey only di du it fi get votes cause dey desperate.” Dodes shook her head. “Milli gial. You might glad u live da States fi tru. Dis country jus di go to rass. Ah mean, why d hell u wa give a bunch a Guatemalans citizenship? Dey don tink we da fi dey? Now dey could vote and buy land and send dey pickney da fi wi school. Ih just bun mi when ah tink bout it.”

“Shit! Ah neva know tings get so bad gial Dodes,” said Milli. But dis rass nuh new mein. When ah midi go da SJC, dey used to talk bout di Chiney di pay like $45,000 fuh wa passport. At least den wi mid get something firit, right? But dis? Dey just di come tek whe dey done tink da fi dey already and we jus give it to dey!” Milli looked over at Bernie who had gotten very quiet, just sipping her tea every now and again. “Bernie. Whe di goh tru da maze a yourns?”

“Ahh.” Bernie sighed.”Ah jus di tink fi tru Milli. Ah mean, what do you do when something like this happen? Who u call? Is there even a process of inquiry?”

“Hey Milli,” said Dodes. “Di one good thing whe come outta dis? Dey gat deya 2 gial name Aria Lightfoot and Fayemarie Carter. Dey two deh awn gial. You know whe Aria seh bout di passport ting? Shi call Belize a prostitute! Something bout open fi business with evibady!” Dodes’ body shakes as she heartily laughs.

“Buwahahahahaha!” laughed Milli. “Dat da wa gud one Dodes! Suh wi da still ‘soldier taffy’? Wi jus do it legal like now. Wow!” Milli sobered as the thoughts swirled around her head. The Belize of her Granny Ray’s days definitely seem to be gone with her. This is one of the major conflicts she struggles with deeply. How can she, Milli, say anything about what is happening in Belize when she lives in a nice house and has a nice job in sunny California? She thinks of coming home often but she knows she is not ready to face this type of life where politics and one’s existence were one and the same. She shook her head as if to shake the thoughts right out. “Anyway, Dodes. Tell mi bout whe deya gial di seh.”

The friends sat on the wire for the next hour, until the sun sprayed its golden tendrils across the land, closing one more day, signalling one more triumph of survival over continued difficulties and challenges to all the good these friends knew as home.

What is your citizenship worth? – by: Aria Lightfoot


Citizenship means I am part of a country; it means I am co-captain of its future; it means I am a component of a blueprint;   I belong;   my future and past are interconnected. As a citizen, I can vote, agitate, engage, arouse, examine, and change the Constitution and legal framework of my country.  It means that that Belize is me and I am Belize.

Every election season, politicians corrupt my citizenship for cheap votes.  They “Belizeanize” hundreds and in some cases thousands of immigrants who share little or no historical, cultural or social similarity to me.  They give away my impact as voter and further diminish my citizenship, so that immigrant citizens of Guatemala, a country that still claims ownership of Belize, can recreate the blueprint of Belize.  Politicians of both parties have been guilty of the genocide of the Belizean people by systematically changing the cultural, ethnical, religious and social composition of the country. They have treasonously discounted the real citizens’ will and undermined their voting power.

What are the ramifications?   

I am livid, outraged, insulted, dismayed to witness hundreds of immigrants lined up outside the immigration office waiting for their citizenship to be quickly processed before voters registration deadlines, a blatant erosion and devaluation  my citizenship.  Belize allows full rights as a citizen.  It means that the person who was allowed to circumvent the process for an X on Election Day, enjoy the same citizenship as I do. That new citizen can run for public office, even the office as high as the Prime Minister of Belize; demand the benefits of taxpaying citizens such as social security benefits; influence the outcome of an election. It translates into zero political accountability as politicians continue to ignore the concerns of real citizens for ballot box stuffers.   

Even more disconcerting is the long term effects.  How much longer do politicians think it will be before immigrants realize their voting power?  How much longer will it be before Guatemala will no longer need to claim us? Our politicians are handing over Belize vote stuffer by voter stuffer.  How much longer before these political fools realize that their own children will suffer the encumbrance of such short sightedness.

In the US, I will never be able to run for the presidency if I decide to apply for my citizenship because I will not be a born citizen. Even a born citizen cannot run for public office unless they reside in the US for a determined amount of time and twelve years to run for the Presidency.  The politicians cannot circumvent the citizenship process without a vote from Congress (a very open process).  Even Belizeans value gaining citizenship from the United States because they know the process is arduous. After all the other qualifications, the immigrant must pass a background check, citizenship test, endure an interview.    By the time you qualify for citizenship, the United States have indoctrinated the new citizens into the culture of being an American.    Belize has no such system.

Internationally, travelling as a Belizean is becoming a difficult and a harassing experience.  You know why?  Our politicians are giving away our citizenship because they have no value for Belizeans. Our citizenship can be bought for money or votes.  Have you tried getting a visa to visit the United States, Europe or Canada? The processes are becoming more intrusive, stricter, and costly to the average Belizean? In this post 911 era, Belize is like a prostitute, open for business for everyone with money or votes.  Politicians have eroded the significance of my citizenship. I call on this government and future government to secure my children’s future and stop perverting my citizenship and start making laws to bring back an atmosphere of integrity and value to being a Belizean.