Wifey and Sweetheart Get Di Bukut!!!! by Fayemarie Anderson Carter


Suh…. I am so sure that you have heard EVERY Belizean man and woman seh dat dey don’t tolerate cheating but if da like how dey deal wid di palitishan dem? Well. You know exactly how dat end!

From the time we are old enough to talk, if you are a girl, people tell you to “keep your shape; lawn fi cook; nuh laff tu loud; cross yu leg; be a good girl OR ELSE yu nuh wa get a good man”.  Ting is, da whe dey tell di man dem? Caz ah nu tink dey get di memo. You might hear “be a man, stop cry; beat dat, nuh mek nobadi tawk to you suh; les go da Mile 8; tell u gial u gwen play basketball or tell shi da nun a fi shi business whe u goh; you mek di money, shi fi just shet up and serve you yuh dinnah!”

So girl marries boy. She might have a job but that doesn’t matter. She still washes, cooks, takes care of the kids, and cleans up after everyone. She doesn’t get a say in how money is spent or how decisions are made BUT she must honour whatever arrangements her husband might make so that they “look good”. So, she cooks for people she doesn’t like; she raises funds for causes she doesn’t support; she watches her man go to the bar and blow his pay check while the pickney need school uniform and books; and if she raises her concern, she bettah watch she don’t get slap right affa fi shi foot! Caz he da di boss and u bettah know your damn place. And if you dare nuh listen, he wa lef yu rass and tek a sweetheart. And if you reeeeeally piss him off, while you stay home and mind yu pickney? He wa ker she da fancy restaurant and buy ah sum chicken and suh Belikin fi wash it down. AND the cherry on top of that humiliating cheating, lying and beat up Sundae is? He will blame you and seh da caz yu get fat, or yu like rail up tu much or yu dah jus nuh fun no moh.

So den yuh get caught up inna wa love triangle, square, pentagon? Some wifeys think dey getting revenge by cheating right back; some stay deh and pretend like dey dont know, and den di Shali pickney staat show up da di back dooh. And one day, shi look inna di mirror and realize dat she’s all thorns and no rose. See, cause she told herself, “I live inna di big house”; “my pickney gat fi hi name”; “he come home to me” ;”I da Mrs”.

Di sweetheart she? Well, she get reputation so nobody in society wants to associate her and she finds herself being passed around from one married man to the next, each time, she tells herself  “dis one love me..si di pretty bracelet? si di new refridge? And mi baby got soft hair like ih daddy”; “dis one wa lef ih wife”. But he doesn’t and she cries again and soon shi look inna di mirror and realize she is all thorns and no rose.

The sweetheart and wifey might sometimes meet in public and wifey cut shi eye; sweetheart hallah bout “mi son da fi yu man!” Each one has her posse in her corner whe jeer and sweat fevah.  Wifey is the victim because of “that low down sketel di try tief wa good honest man like mi husband. Shi da jus wa homewreckah! Don’t that street gial realize that shi di tek mi pickney food outta dey mouth and dey pa from whe he belang? She so sleck, shi gat pickney fuh all kinda man, dey all gat different name!” The Sweetheart is the victim because “that fat cow nuh wa give mi man wa divorce! Don’t that old hux realize dat him nuh luv ah numoh? She da just di stupidest ass fi di try hold awn to something whe nuh wah she! He tell mi dat shi cant give a di sex like me!”

Now turn dat into a lovestory about the PUP, UDP and Belizeans. “Mrs.” da di diehard. Those voters will stick to their party like the wife to the husband. They hide the lies; they defend their behaviour and all the while, everybody can see that their eyes black and blue and swollen from the bitchlick. But, they hold on for dear life because they just can’t imagine no different and don’t believe they deserve better. The sweetheart? They are the voters just looking for a handout. They keep switching sides, chasing the one with the sweetest lines and the biggest promises, telling themselves  “this time will be different!”; “He da di one!” And, they do that because they also can’t can’t imagine no different and don’t believe that they deserve better. The two a dem fraid fi challenge because all of a sudden, they will lose their job, or they will be publicly ridiculed or they will lose funding for some project or a loan will be recalled or their children won’t get scholarships or even considered for positions they are qualified for. O and the latest one, you might get sued for slander and libel.

And the man? When him dead, him happy and content. After all, he get what he mi want right? And he tell himself that both dem bitches lucky he tolerate either one a dem. Dey bettah just know. He da di boss. Whe dey gat fi camplain bout? Wifey inna house and sweetheart get shi chicken. Ting dun. Him pave your street and give di other one wa ham. Ting dun.

Whe miya seh? Step back. The only reason this keeps happening over and over is caz like the Wifey and the Sweetheart, we, the Belizeans don’t believe it can be different or that we deserve any better.  We have allowed a bunch of self serving, egotistical, deceitful, unethical, criminal politicians to take over that which is ours and we settle for the pittance they decide we deserve. They don’t even fight their own battles cause like the wife and the sweetheart, dey posse do it for them.  I mean, we do it for them. We call each other names and refuse to work together against corruption and fight for our rights. Meanwhile, they ride around in their air conditioned rides and vacation on their private islands, whe dey just tief fram yu, by the way.

So…on this here Valentine’s Day..kick dey no good cheaters to di curb…wifey and sweetheart need fi tell huzzy who da di boss! Stop fight each other and fight together for what’s right. First you have to love yourself don’t you? Buy yu own damn chocolate and flowers numa! And make dat man know it is his privilege to be with you! Just like we need to let our leaders know “It is a privilege to serve US”. When Wifey and Sweetheart wa realize dat it aint about them but about the children they both have to watch suffer? And those kids got one name: Belizean.