Dear Teenage Girls….by: Kiah Pastor


 

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Kiah Pastor

Dear Teenage Girls of Belize,

There are a couple tragedies currently in the media that has hit close to home therefore I’d like to speak on one. There was a situation that occurred where a 13 year old female sent nude photos to a man and he then threatened to expose them if she did not have sex with him. Well she ended up having sex with him twice.

We live in a Society where men glorify women and their bodies but there is a very fine line between being human and appreciating a woman’s natural physique and then just being out right disrespectful. In Belize, most cases it’s being disrespectful. But as a child having your body go through changes, you’re left some what confused. Why should I as a teenager not show off my newly developed breasts if they’re so many older and more developed women on social media also showing off their bodies and getting glorified by not only men but other females as well. Do you see my point? Nudity has become a part of pop culture. Nudity has become art. Nudity has been accepted in every case EXCEPT when it has been shared against your will. The amount of guys I’ve seen preaching about “having self respect” and telling girls to stop sending nudes to young boys are the same guys I recall have asked me to send them a nude when I was between the ages of 12-16.

Almost every male will vow they’ll never associate themselves with younger girls but they’re so many of them who love it! It’s the idea of being with a female who doesn’t have a set of boundaries mostly because they don’t know what the boundaries should be. The idea of not being with a female you need to break all sorts of walls to get through to because she hasn’t been scarred by other men in order to build those walls up in the first place. And lastly it’s the idea of having a body that hasn’t been touched. The inferior feeling of taking it all away. Men love dominance.

Now let me redirect my energy. It’s not solely the men of our society’s fault but also the women. We should work hard as women to be advocates of true self confidence and self love. We should be more willing to reach out to the younger girls around us and be a big sister figure to them and be there to advise them so they don’t need to figure it all out on their own. This is very hard because there’s a lot of adult women themselves who don’t have self respect nor show true value of themselves as women but that’s okay! You don’t need to be in that space forever! You don’t need to be vulnerable to these men. You don’t need to use sex to feel powerful and you don’t need to showcase your body to get attention. You do what you’re confident with not what you feel is pleasing to others. Where do you think promiscuous women are stemmed from? Sexual acts that occur in early stages of life. Let’s make an effort to be the best examples to younger girls and to show them how they should react when put in compromising positions! You’re not alone!

From a young woman building herself back up,
Kiah Lisani Pastor đź’“

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2 thoughts on “Dear Teenage Girls….by: Kiah Pastor

  1. This is such an important issue, and I am so glad to see it addressed. I’d like to see it placed squarely where it belongs, without apologies, on the shoulders of men and ultimately the parents of boys. As a mother of four, two boys and two girls, I am familiar with the intricacies on both sides. And as a woman … well, we all have our own stories of abuse, right? If a woman or teenage girl wants to dress and feel sexy, she should be able to do so, just as any man or boy should. Men are not shamed for showing off their beautiful muscles. Why should any girl feel shame for showing off her beautiful curves? Showing that beauty does not necessarily mean someone wants to have sex. And here is where we must come in as mothers and fathers. I have taught my boys that a woman can be naked in front of him, but unless she says she is willing, you restrain, and if she’s been drinking, don’t even think about it because her judgement is impaired. There’s this idea that men are savage beasts incapable of restraining themselves. I know this isn’t true because I know many men are not this way, and I know for a fact my 18 yo boy does not act this way. It’s disrespecting to men to assume otherwise. If a man is being inappropriate with an underage – or even of age – girl, that’s on him. I don’t care what she was doing or wearing, he’s the one in the wrong. Of course I teach my girls to be aware and careful, but I won’t have the burden put on them. Men need to do better, and we need to teach our boys better.

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