Daily Dingleberry by Fayemarie A Carter

So toucans eat insects, eggs, lizards and berries EXCEPT dingleberries. Everyday, we would like to share some kind of pet peeve or annoyance we experience as we engage with others in political discourse. This way, we can address them without detracting from the posts we make or allow hecklers to derail us unto some tangent. Hopefully, some of you will share your pet peeves and annoyances too :)

Daily Dingleberry 04-20-12 420 Bitches! Legalize It!!!!!!

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Legalize It

So…research shows that there are many benefits to using marijuana for medicinal purposes and that it can be quite the aid to people suffering the side effects of cancer treatment. There are already a few states in the US that allow for the cultivation and distribution of medicinal marijuana…WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR? I say: corner the market man! Do you know how much resources are wasted trying to chase marijuana farmers, the mules and then the poor user who is caught with an ounce? To what end?

 

I am emphatically against legalization of narcotics so don’t bother rebutting with: it is a gateway drug blahsiblah. I am also against minors engaging in recreational use so don’t come to me with that either. Don’t come to me with the idea of contributing to moral decay either: Belize is pretty immoral already and plenty of damage is done with alcohol which is legal.

I am simply saying that we treat it like an industry with funding, regulations and TAXATION. When you control this already booming industry, you eliminate a certain level of corruption, violence and even dependence. There will be a certain level of accountability which is not achievable as the current situation stands.

I sincerely believe that the idea bears consideration. Most North and Central American countries are examining it…there just might be something to it.

 

Daily Dingleberry 04-18-12 In Light of the Dark

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Suicide is not a typical behavioural choice. Human beings have a strong sense self preservation. This is why people find it hard to accept when someone chooses this way of dealing with challenges. A common reaction is to blame the victim. Some act disgusted, calling them weak… crazy…stupid…selfish…misguided…sinner. Others laugh and make fun, snickering and belittling with jokes and sarcasm, and still others, just dismiss it, preferring the deluded false security of denial.

I want to understand all these reactions. And I do, usually. But there comes a time when such ignorance and insensitivity becomes unforgivable. The time is when you have been told differently and appealed to with knowledge and scientific research and still, you persist in perpetuating this type of destructive attitude.

Can we just agree that all behaviour is on a continuum? “Normal” is quite encompassing. Very few behaviours are actually abnormal. No one chooses to be mentally ill. Unfortunately, our bodies and minds are susceptible to breaking down, and like any physical ailment, we must treat our mental ailments. Left unattended, they become unmanageable and debilitating.

Would you leave a sore to fester? Would you let a broken limb heal badly, crippling you for life? Would you not take your insulin? your blood pressure pills?

It’s really simple. We are ruled by chemicals. When there is too much or too little, our brains don’t function well. Our perceptions become warped causing us to make harmful decisions. So, we take medication to correct the imbalance and we seek therapy to re-learn to think and regulate our emotions so that we can make more productive decisions and engage in more effective behaviour. This works for most everyone except for those suffering with the more serious and persistent mentally ill, eg, personality disorders and psychosis.

Like everything else. Get educated. Have some patience and show some humanity. You will need someone to show you just that one day.

Engage. Educate. Encourage. Empower.

Daily Dingleberry 04-14-12 Would the real Belizean please stand up?

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Something very perturbing is starting to happen. I suspect it was always an undercurrent but now it is coming to the surface. Belizeans who live in Belize are accusing Belizeans who live outside of not being real Belizeans.

Let’s get this straight. According the laws of Belize and everywhere else, uhm, we are Belizeans, no matter what you say or think. Watch us get deported. We come home to Belize. We cause gang wars and violence.

The next annoying thing is: There are over 160,000 of us spread allllll over the world and more than likely we are contributing to the greatest industry we got in Belize: Western Union. AND DONT START WITH IT’S ONLY BETWEEN US AND WHO WE SEND MONEY TO. That is naive. We send money cause the economy sux. There are no jobs and our families need to eat. Imagine if we didn’t send packages and money. Belize would be run over with the homeless and starving children and quite a few dead people too cause we send money to pay medical bills.

WE ARE RELEVANT. WE INFLUENCE YOUR QUALITY OF LIFE. SO SHOW US SOME RESPECT.

We’re out here developing expertise in many areas and many of us would love to return home but to what? And then what will you do without our money funneling in???? Think!

We contribute in soooo many ways….the construction industry bc we send money to  build our homes; the tourist industry cause we come home and eat in your restaurants and rent your cars and stay in your hotels, never mind the friends we send and bring to visit; the business sector bc we send goods to sell or we send money so our family can buy goods; education because we send school fees and supplies; medical services because we send money to pay for hospital stays and medicines….I think you get the picture.

Athletes, artists, doctors, soldiers, you name it, are trained around the world, representing Belize with NO recognition. Sometimes you wanna just say &^%$ y’all! But we don’t. We keep trying, despite your vitriol and attempts to alienate and discriminate.

 

Daily Dingleberry 04-13-12 Women vs Men

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Look how well that fits 🙂

There is a presumption many make about women: we don’t get along but men do. Women don’t like each other; all we do is gossip and fight and compete agaist each other instead of working with each other. Men don’t hold grudges; they aren’t emotional so make better teams; they get ish done (rolling my eyes on this one: sorry guys, but you rule the world and yeah….’nuff said).

I disagree. I think that the relationships are different in nature which leads to particular challenges. What do I mean? Men appear to get along because they keep it superficial. Can you imagine a conversation that goes: “And how did it make you feel when the boss touched your ass?” Not gonna happen.

So women and their relationships are under a lot more stressors than their male counterparts which may seem compromise productivity at times. For a brief history read: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women’s_rights   So, evolutionarily speaking, perhaps this is exactly the kind of dissonance and discord which needs to take place in order to strengthen our understanding of each other so that we can develop better resolution of problems facing our society: domestic violence, equal pay etc.

What does this mean in the world of politics? A LOT. If men are unwilling to delve into the effects certain issues have on the quality of life of women and children, these issues get pushed into the background and are ignored. It is proven that societies in which women enjoy greater independence, access to education, representation in court etc are stronger economically.

It would seem then, instead of seeing things in a negative light, let’s learn from each other to find an optimum level of respect, understanding and good intentions so that we can all contribute to the growth of our society. Don’t blame women. Don’t blame men. We are the victims of our history BUT we are in control of our future so be grown and act accordingly.

Daily Dingleberry 04-12-12 I Loves Me Some Happy People

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I’m not quite sure how or why or when it became okay to hate our fellow human beings just for being. Maybe it has always been that way as we competed for food, land, women. At the same time, haven’t we learned that it doesn’t work when we fight amongst ourselves?

I love Native American philosophy. They believed that if the creator made something/someone the way they are, who are they to question it. It sounds similar to Christian teaching doesn’t it? So why are we having a problem with homosexuals? Why do we act exactly in opposition of the our Christian beliefs? Why do we marginalize and discriminate and even hate our fellow man/woman?

In Native American society, gays were not treated any differently. It was a non-issue. Some married and had families. Some didn’t.  It was a simple matter of how one wished to contribute/exist as part of their tribe.

What infuriates me to no end, is that despite given facts to the contrary, people continue to insist that people choose to be this way and as such, can choose to be heterosexual if they want. All they need is a little bible thumpin’ and some river dunkin’ and viola! he/she will be saved and converted. Blech. Why the hell do you care?

Everything exists on a continuum: intelligence, wealth, mental health, you name it, so why is hard to believe that sexual orientation isn’t?

I just despair at the thought that so much of our resources and energies is being used to create an issue where there already exist many that could be given as much fervor to a much better end: child hunger, domestic violence, debilitating disease, drugs, gang violence…the list is inexhaustive.

Lemme hear you fight FOR something that our children can be proud of: better education, safer streets, safer homes, strong economy.

Daily Dingleberry 04-11-12 Is You Big Enough?

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So many of us are quick to criticise and rail up about everything under the sun…blame, blame, blame…shame, shame, shame. What if you find out that your impressions were wrong? What if you find out your facts weren’t facts but just twisted conjecture spouted by manipulative naysayers whose only intent is to sabotage? Would you own up and apologize? Would you proclaim your faulty conclusions? Would you be big enough to give credit where credit is due or would you just duck and hide…perpetuating a lie because of your pride?

Think on it lovers….your children are watching….nothing wrong with being wrong…everything wrong with not admitting it and fixing it.

Don't make her come after you!

Daily Dingleberry 04-10-12 Be a Bee and Build Your Hive; Stop Buzzin Around :)

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What are you into? kids? crime? education? cancer? Find people who care about the issues you do and DO something please? Not only is it a more productive way to use your energies but you can be a part of the solution to issues which affect you and your family. By being intimately involved, you will be surprised to see how hard getting things done is and maybe, just maybe, you can come to an understanding of what your community leaders have to put up with. With understanding comes patience and tolerance and eventually, progress.

Daily Dingleberry 04-05-12 Fingle Your Dingle

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Me na feel like be vex tudeh…dah Holy Thursday. Ah membah back home, shop open till half day and den da he dat! Gawn da caye!!!! For me it was South Water Caye, CocoPlum or Tobacco. Some Easters fell on either my brother Henry’s birthday or on Teres’ so more than once we had salty chocolate cake because my mom would make it in Dangriga but rough weather would bounce it all over the place and spray it with salt water 🙂

Now tell di truth and shame di devil: how much a uno nevah jus love go da caye cause it was the ONLY time you could disappear from the prying eyes of your parents?! And teachers?! That could mean that you end up kissing a cousin or two, or wait, was that just me? LOL

Favourite memory seriously? Waking up at 4:00 am to go fishing when the moon was low and the tide was swinging :0 BREAKFAST! One time I caught an eel. O Lord! That was scary!

I wish I could be rollin up my foam and packing my clothes and hiding my doritos and cheese balls from my brothers, today 🙂 Yes people. Down south, we dont gats no shop da caye.

Love what you have and love those who put up with yo miserable ass!

Daily Dingleberry 04-04-12 Understanding Leads to Solutions; Debate Only Distracts

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They are our sons.

According to a survey of criminologists in 2008, 88% of the participants asked whether or not the death penalty is a deterrent of crime said NO. They also said that while politicians argue for it to appear tough on crime, this ongoing debate on distracts from actually developing solutions. http://www.deathpenaltyinfo.org/study-88-criminologists-do-not-believe-death-penalty-effective-deterrent Why then do we continue to demand  the death penalty?

This really is a reflection of a lack of basic understanding of the psychology of the criminal. A criminal simply weighs the pros and cons of breaking the law. When the price is small, the criminal chooses to pay the prize. When the price is steep, the criminal only becomes better at what he is doing and he becomes organized- he forms a gang. It is a simple cost-benefit analysis like any other business organization. Over and over again, it is observed that in states with the three strikes law, these criminals tend to be more ruthless by killing their potential witnesses rather than face going to jail for the rest of their lives.

What this scenario fails to again for however, is that people who are in a gang are also part of other entities. Decisions are not made in a vacuum. When criminals are educated about the effects their actions have on other parts of their lives: family, neighbourhood, community, this moral dimension seems to have more of an impact on deterring criminal behaviour than the severity of punishment. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ulterior-motives/200906/crime-and-punishment-moral-deterrents-crime

So what does this say to us? Instead of only focusing on punishment which is the end of one criminal career only to begin another one in jail MOST of the time, we need to intervene at the point of the DECISION making.  Providing alternative motivations, as the article suggests, seems to be a step in the right direction.

ENGAGE. EDUCATE. ENLIGHTEN. EMPOWER

Daily Dingleberry 04-03-12 YOU IS JUST A BUNCH A DEBBIE DOWNERS

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I noticed something that was very concerning and disheartening when I was in Belize. No matter what it was, the answer was “I don’t think so.” or “No.”  It was never: “Lemme see what I can do about that for you.” or “No problem mam. It’ll just be a minute.”

Preparing for the funeral:

A “Can we sing a song right here after this?”

B “No. We are only allowed to sing 4 songs through the whole service.”

Who the hell gets to say how one says goodbye to a loved one???? But ok.

Preparing for the Repast:

A “How many people are we preparing food for, Aunt Stephanie (my mom)?”

B “About half the people who come to the funeral won’t be able to make it because they have to travel. So between 300 and 400 at least, because I m sure some of Henry’s friends will like to be there. ”

A “Well, I nevah mi di plan fi feed no lottah Kerob!” And with that, people put back their turkeys in their freezers.

WOW!!! ARE YOU FN KIDDING ME????? WHo The HelL GetS tO DeCiDe WHO getS to GRIEVE a PeRsON????? So instead of having our extended family prepare the food as we all have for each other over the years, my family and I had the repast catered 🙂 F U Bitches!

Ordering food at a well known restaurant in Belmopan:

A “I would love to have the ceviche.”

B “I’m sorry mam but we just run out of conchs.”

A “Ok…what about today’s special?”

B “We just serve our last stew beans and rice; we only have rice and beans.”

A “Ok…I’ll have that then.”

B “I’m sorry mam but we run out the rice and beans.”

A “Ok…how about a bacon and cheese sandwich?’

B “Yes, mam.”

C “I’ll have the bacon cheeseburger,” says my companion.

B “Im sorry mam but we dont have bacon.”

A  “So that means you can’t make my bacon cheese sandwich right?”

B  “Yes mam.”

A “Ok but if you knew that already, why did you take my order just now? Fine. DO YOU HAVE BREAD AND BUTTER?”

And the list goes on really…it was like every time there was an issue, I had to be the one to find my own solutions even though I was PAYING someone else for a service. You should have seen the confused looks on people’s faces…

Well…some people or maybe a lot of people would want me to accept: “da just Belize mein”.

Na ah.

See the problem is, we are a tourist destination. People are coming here expecting to live out a fantasy and they are paying you fabulous money to do what is just basic services like HAVE THE FOOD YOU GOT ON YOUR MENU AVAILABLE. Sheesh! We need to realize that people have choices. If we don’t meet even a mediocre standard, they will not come back and they won’t send their friends here. There is only so much our natural beauty will do for us. They will go to other places like the Dominican Republic where everything is cheaper and they can get whatever they ask for. Shit! I might have to go to the Dominican Republic so I can get a real vacation…it’s not like I said this is a “working vacation”! DO YO JOB

The other thing: We want our economy to get a heartbeat right? We want investors right? Well but seriously…what website do we go to? What office? It is ridiculous trying to do research on Belize. You have to be one determined mo fo if you are going to try to do business in Belize. NOTHING IS COORDINATED! It screams unprofessional, inefficient and just flat out “too much trouble”.

For the above reasons, for many years I didn’t talk too much about Belize because I seriously did not want to be sending people there and then end up embarrassin my damn self…den dey be mad at me cause dey spent all kindsa money and had a lousy time or whatever..before you know it, I don lost a friend.

Please people. Get your ish together. You have to NETWORK and COOPERATE with each other. You want progress? You have to be a part of it. Start THINKING. Start PLANNING. COmMit. Maybe if dey mi gaat 2 dawnkey, this nevah miya happen