On Being A Mother by Fayemarie Anderson Carter 05-13-12


On Being A Mother

by Fayemarie Anderson Carter

On being a mother,

had I known it would be such a bother,

As a career,

I might have chosen another.

Hallmark paints it as sweet, giggling babies,

homemade cookies, bedtime stories.

They forgot the puke, the crap, the early morning crazies,

the yelling, the fighting and all the other glories.

I try to follow the advice of the ones with the Ph.D’s,

I swear ’tis true.

I make charts, set boundaries and teach that life has rules.

But three with ADHD, is more than I can do

And I end up just feeling like I’m living in a zoo.

Forgotten homework and unfinished chores galore,

Many days I think, I just can’t handle one thing more.

Then I trip over a rogue shoe, a toy, a gigantic purse ,

And I think to myself, “Just send the friggin’ hearse.”

Bedtime is a struggle , a fight, a war

sometimes, I’m tempted to sleep in the car.

My child wails that she wishes she were dead

to which I just holler,

“Brush your damn teeth and go to your bed!”

And at the end of a long exhausting day,

my child has not listened once again,

’cause there on my clean sheets,

is my angel poo, my pookers, my bug, perfectly splayed.

So, on being a mother,

While it is a GREAT bother,

Looking at their happy faces,

I can be no other.

Let Them Eat Dirt

Daily Dingleberry 02-17-12 (Warning: Rated Explicit for Frank Language)


So…it’s Friday. People are yaking yaking about Shakron dis and Shakron dat. Frankly…I feel sorry for her. She is being used by both parties, yeah…I said it.

PUP is telling Ms. Shakron “UDP fraid fi yu gial…dats why dey di go awn soh”, bolstering her ego so she can continue to run for them and help stave off collapse of a party which has been plagued by infighting and candidates dropping out.

I suspect the UDP doesn’t care all that much about the effect Shakron will have on its chances of winning. UDP is only using this whole Shakron ting to further discredit the PUP, call hypocrite and wipe Lisa Shoman‘s face with her own words. The UDP is simply having a free for all at PUP’s expense.

I don’t know you Ms. Shakron but I sure as hell would not be giving up my damn US citizenship for dis here bunch. And before anybody jumps me from behind, this ain’t about love of country…this is about love of self. You bettah love yourself more than any country and any people, BECAUSE at the end of the day, these fuckers ain’t go be nowhere round, come March 8th and she didn’t win or PUP happens to lose. It’s just tooooo much of a gamble and it must be difficult to put her life in such jeopardy, much less the lives and future of her kids at risk. Because, that is what it is people. See,  what people don’t tell you is that once you get into politics like this, there is no turning back, EVER.

I hope you really have only the strongest convictions Ms Shakron, because at the end of the day, they will be all you have.

Reunion by Fayemarie A Carter


Faye 1Bernie Toucan and Doo Doo Chickadee are sitting on their usual spot by the junction of Fortification and Judgement Streets, having a bit of tea. It is a lovely afternoon and the long time friends are enjoying a lighthearted chat when they feel the wire dip. Both of them look over and give shrieks of surprise.

“Milli!!!! Millicent Audrey Avocet!”, exclaimed Bernie.

“Blue Shanks! Gial! Whe u di du ya?” asked Dodes excitedly. The friends come together for a warm embrace and kisses.

“Well girls. I’m here to bury my grandmother, Aurelia Avocet, memba shi? Granny Ray? She passed a few days ago and I brought her home. She insisted that she be buried here in Belize. U membah how shi does goh? Always have to have shi own way,” Mili smiled wistfully.

“I’m sorry to hear that Milli. I hope it wasn’t too difficult for you and your family?” asked Bernie.

“Well, she was almost 100 so we knew this was coming and the past few months, she was going in and out of the hospital. That was hard because it felt like I never left work, you know? Nurse at work, nurse at home,” said Milli.

“I’m sure she appreciated it, Milli,” said Bernie as she touched her friend reassuring on the shoulder.

“Gial but hmmm! Comin home da neva no joke! Dey harass me every step ah di way. Dey act like ah midi try smuggle drugs or something. Dey nuh know dat if a midi do dat, di coffin mi gwein di opposite direction? What di hell ah wa smuggle into Belize from States?” Milli’s eyes danced as she giggled. “Yu wud tink dey glad dat the immigrant di lef di country, right? Dey stop my rass da every station! Ah neahly miss mi connecting flight home. Ah tell di lady if shi nevah let mi goh, mi granny miya haunt shi rass sake a lef ah fi travel by shi self,’ said Milli.

“Haha!” laughed Dodes.”U nuh change nuh gial. U still di give trouble, big time lady and all.”

“Well! Dey piss mi off man! Ih does be dat I mi glad fi have a Belizean passport. I used to joke that I would nevah want a American one cause dey wa tek mi mek hostage. But hell! Ah di change mi mind. Ah mean, who wahn go thru da process da states? You have to pay almost a thousand dollahs den you hafi study and tek exam. Hmph! But lately, I might prefer be American.”

“Well, u know Milli, lately, wha latta pipple di rail up bout fi we citizenship. How easy it is fi get it and dat anybody could get it fi leebit a money or a simple vote inna elections. Jus di oddah day, PM give hundreds a pipple citizenship. Pipple nevah tek tu kindly. Seh how dey only di du it fi get votes cause dey desperate.” Dodes shook her head. “Milli gial. You might glad u live da States fi tru. Dis country jus di go to rass. Ah mean, why d hell u wa give a bunch a Guatemalans citizenship? Dey don tink we da fi dey? Now dey could vote and buy land and send dey pickney da fi wi school. Ih just bun mi when ah tink bout it.”

“Shit! Ah neva know tings get so bad gial Dodes,” said Milli. But dis rass nuh new mein. When ah midi go da SJC, dey used to talk bout di Chiney di pay like $45,000 fuh wa passport. At least den wi mid get something firit, right? But dis? Dey just di come tek whe dey done tink da fi dey already and we jus give it to dey!” Milli looked over at Bernie who had gotten very quiet, just sipping her tea every now and again. “Bernie. Whe di goh tru da maze a yourns?”

“Ahh.” Bernie sighed.”Ah jus di tink fi tru Milli. Ah mean, what do you do when something like this happen? Who u call? Is there even a process of inquiry?”

“Hey Milli,” said Dodes. “Di one good thing whe come outta dis? Dey gat deya 2 gial name Aria Lightfoot and Fayemarie Carter. Dey two deh awn gial. You know whe Aria seh bout di passport ting? Shi call Belize a prostitute! Something bout open fi business with evibady!” Dodes’ body shakes as she heartily laughs.

“Buwahahahahaha!” laughed Milli. “Dat da wa gud one Dodes! Suh wi da still ‘soldier taffy’? Wi jus do it legal like now. Wow!” Milli sobered as the thoughts swirled around her head. The Belize of her Granny Ray’s days definitely seem to be gone with her. This is one of the major conflicts she struggles with deeply. How can she, Milli, say anything about what is happening in Belize when she lives in a nice house and has a nice job in sunny California? She thinks of coming home often but she knows she is not ready to face this type of life where politics and one’s existence were one and the same. She shook her head as if to shake the thoughts right out. “Anyway, Dodes. Tell mi bout whe deya gial di seh.”

The friends sat on the wire for the next hour, until the sun sprayed its golden tendrils across the land, closing one more day, signalling one more triumph of survival over continued difficulties and challenges to all the good these friends knew as home.