A victim relates to Jasmine Lowe : Reprinted with the permission of Marisa Alamilla

Marisa Alamilla

 Just musing Belize………..

As I sit to write my article … I just could not get the images of this beautiful little girl out my head.  I am to write about a far more casual topic but thought that it was more important to weigh in on what is going on in our beautiful country.  Jasmine Lowe has become the face and name of a people who are absolutely fed up with crime. She is not the first child to have died by no means of a violent crime but at a time when we have been screaming for an end to the violence, at a time when it has become like one a day vitamins, at a time when mothers weep and a country is lost it seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back.


I grew up in a Belize where we felt safe to play, where our children could play in the drains in the rain, where they could be left to enjoy a little thing called “freedom”. Gone are these days!  Not today, yesterday, the last few weeks or months but for some years now. As I listen to the public at large screaming for justice and screaming for an end to violence I wonder how many of them have really sat down and soaked it all in, soaked in the stench that has been building from their inaction, their lack of parenting, their lack of will to make everyone accountable or for their short memories.


In 1998 I was a victim of crime awaken at the wee hours of the morning from my sleep by an intruder into my home that was built to protect me. Burglar bars and dead bolts on all the doors and windows.   I remember thinking in the first instance “how did he get in?” to be followed quickly by “how will I get away? What does he want and then more importantly “will he kill me?”  The sharp knife he held in his hand glistened as he made it clear that he had every intention to use it if I did not do as he said. I remember looking around my room thinking of ways to get away it seemed so impossible paralyzed by fear he seemed so huge in my eyes, standing at over 6’ and 190 lbs. His crazy yet focused eyes made me beg and plead for my life but to no avail. After a fight that seem to last for hours and being badly beaten and raped, he made be take a bath saying that I will wash the evidence off me. I remember clearly trying to preserve the evidence by trying not to let the water hit all the parts of my battered body that I thought might have some evidence of his presence.  I remember thinking that even if he carried through on his promise to cut my throat that the police would be able to catch him. I was so disillusioned then. I know now that had I not lived and had I not been strong enough to pursue him and ensure he was captured and arrested and see this through to the bitter end he would be walking amongst us, free to do what he did to me to so many other women.  I remember his mother threatening me and visiting my home and screaming at my windows that if I continued to pursue this in court she would have one of her other sons finish the job. I remember one police officer telling me to ignore the threats because if I returned threats I could be arrested for verbal assault. Go figure!


I say that to say this. It took two years after this to bring him this young man of 19 years to court and that was not an easy thing to do. At times I felt alone, tired, abandoned, and disheartened by the entire process. I never felt once that the system was on my side. I always felt that I was fighting to win and fighting to get justice. It was not easy not ever.  His defense attorney tried everything to get him acquitted and if I was not the woman I am he would be a free man today.


Every week women and children are assaulted in Belize. Most never make the news because most never get reported. Many women and children feel ashamed and broken by this act of violence and feel as if they lack the strength to handle being persecuted after they have been denigrated in this manner.  In this case little Jasmine died. As a country we are hurt and feel some disdain for her alleged killer. I cautiously warn Belize, not to feel comfortable that he has been caught that is just a small tiny step towards justice.  Justice is long and drawn out road and the onus of responsibility to prove him guilty is on the country. He is presumed innocent.  We are a country high on crime because our social decay and our smart lawyers have gotten us here. One case will not save us as much as I know it may feel that way now.


As I watch the mob and their cries for justice I think “how little they know of how difficult it is to gain that little word”. It takes commitment on many levels and their cries will not affect the ruling of the court if the wealth of evidence is not there to carry the charge. Our people are so distraught and so tired of watching our children die in such senseless and meaningless ways that we fail to realize we have so many alive that we still need to save. Our actions are being looked upon. How we carry ourselves and what we say and do is being absorbed by the little eyes and ears around us. Violence begets violence. We need to aspire for higher ground and I know it’s not easy I was there but I know it’s not impossible. I have nothing against the death penalty just abide by the law that’s what we want to teach our children to do and therefore we must teach by example.

I am a passionate and emotional woman! It’s who I am. I understand rage, I understand the want for revenge, I understand the want for blood because that is what I felt for many years. I also understand the need for true justice, for calmer heads, for good example.  All I am saying Belize is two wrongs won’t make a right! If he is guilty then we must put our energies into ensuring that the system is brought to the highest standards, that we hold each and every one accountable for its failure and that we begin to search ourselves for where we might have added to the demise of our country.  Don’t be fooled where we are today as a society is the direct result of past and present action, whether it was our selfishness by not being our brother’s keeper, by not treating others with the same love and respect we would want to dealt, by turning a blind eye, by our ignorance or our irresponsibility. We played a role in the demise and destruction of our country. Own it! It belongs to each and every one of us.  Change it today, it’s not too late and our children are depending on us to do so!

7 thoughts on “A victim relates to Jasmine Lowe : Reprinted with the permission of Marisa Alamilla

  1. i applaud you brave women for sharing your story. I know its very hard to talk about such tragic experiences but commend you on your efforts. Its even harder without the right support. If i can help, please let me know.

  2. I am so glad that people are stepping up. I am happy to read Marisa’s story and applaud for her bravery. My story was never shared because of shame. Now I realize that is no shame I never did anything wrong in the first place. I was never raped but have had indecent assault by my primary school principal. I was only 13years old. He would always all me into his office and beg me for a kiss, I didn’t ,so he told me could pass me without me having to do my homework. Being smart I told him I didn’t care cause I didn’t like school anyways so I didn’t give in. Ok. I did graduate from primary school and also graduated from high school.Now in 2003 I got a job as front desk that required long hours and different shifts. Customers would come and go and so did my previous school principal. After a long night at work, it was time to go home when he approached me again and offered me a ride home. I thought well, I’m a grown up woman now and I don’t think he is gonna disrespect me again. But I was wrong, as we were driving towards my home he said that he had to check on some workers that was by Benque road. I said,well, I’ll just walk then cause I was close to home anyway. But he said that his trip wouldn’t take long and he’ll have me home in no time. As he drove he suddenly cut off and started driving into some bushes. Something told me that this was not right but yet assumed that maybe that’s where his workers were located. As he kept driving deeper I saw no one. He then stopped, and began talkin about sex. I told him if this is what you brought me here for please take me home. At this point I felt I couldn’t move thinking for sure this bastard is going hurt me. I put my hand in my purse where I had a knife and said to myself, if this jerk trys touching me I am so cutting his balls off cause no one is going to rape me! By this time he had his pants down and kept asking me to give in and that we both were going to enjoy it. I felt sick to my stomach. I still saw him and respected him as my tutor and former school principal. Now I have no respect for him. I know that he tried molesting other young girls and bribed them with passing them to another grade if they let themselves be touched. But their results in their PSE at first known as BNSE were only 6%.why? Cause they never earned their grades the right way. Something must be done with these perverts and young girls must speak up. It is not our fault, it is not true that we seduce them for them to react in that manner! His name is Xxxxxx or also known as Mr. Rxxxxx who resides in Santa Familia. It sickens me when I see him and walks around like a decent man. He is a CHILD MOLESTER!!!

    • Hi,
      Your story need to be told to the appropriate authorities. I had to edit out his name until such time as he is charged. I am so sorry for what you went thru and please share your story so we can remove the shame from the victim and put it where it belongs, on the perpetrator. He is violating the trust of children and parents must know what happened or is happening.

  3. Thank you for that. You are brave. I hope everyone reads this and walks away thinking: “What can I do to stop the slide downhill.” And: “How can we stop this from happening to the next person or child?”

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